


Screaming Colour

by solohux



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mutual Pining, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-04
Updated: 2016-08-16
Packaged: 2018-06-06 09:29:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 37,572
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6748342
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/solohux/pseuds/solohux
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>For as long as Hux can remember, he's been able to see everything in brilliant, vivid colour. His mother tells him that it means that he's got a soulmate somewhere in the galaxy who's waiting for him and little Hux is excited to think that his soulmate can see things in the amazing colours that he can.</p><p>But one day, the colour begins to drain from Hux's world. </p><p>(Soulmate AU where you see everything in perfect colour until your soulmate dies)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I made [this post](http://solohux.tumblr.com/post/143802958344/okay-so-we-all-know-the-soulmate-au-where-you-see) on tumblr about Hux/Ben being soulmates and I never expected it to get so many notes! So I couldn't resist writing it! I hope you like it!
> 
> And thank you so much to sigalawin for drawing [this beautiful art! ](http://sigalawin.tumblr.com/post/144298443574/that-soulmate-au-where-if-your-soulmate-is-alive)

For as long as Hux can remember, he's been able to see everything in brilliant, vivid colour. His home planet of Arkanis isn't a particularly bright place to begin with, but he manages to see through the grey clouds to the light blue sky underneath. He sits in his bedroom in his family's mansion, staring out of his window and watching as the clouds move away, revealing a blue sky which is turning a few shades darker as the evening draws into the night. His eyes dart about the sky as he sees the stars appearing, seemingly glowing a faint yellow colour on the dark blue background.  
   
His mother has told him that him being able to see in such incredible colour means only one thing: Hux has a soulmate.  
   
She had first mentioned the concept to him when he was 6 years old, obviously too young to comprehend the grand notion of soulmates. Hux had come home from school one day after having a heated argument with another boy about the appearance of a ball in the playground. Hux had strongly insisted that the ball was yellow and red, alternating around its circumference in a striped pattern. But the boy had argued that it was black and white, just like everything else in the Galaxy. His mother had softly explained to him that not everyone sees in colour, that not everyone has a soulmate waiting for him like he does. Hux remembers feeling incredibly excited by the thought that someone out there is meant for him, that his soulmate is seeing things in the same stunning colours that he is.

When he’s 10 years old, he’s curious about what will happen when he meets his soulmate so he decides to ask his mother how he’s supposed to know when he’s met the one who was made to match his soul. He decides asking her would be the safer option, rather than asking his father. Hux has heard the way his father talks about soulmates; he thinks it’s all ridiculous. But his mother seems more knowledgeable about the subject anyway, and Hux watches her green eyes light up in awe as she talks to him about what it’s like when you meet _your one._

“It’s incredible,” she says with a soft tone whilst she tucks him into bed one rainy night, pulling his red and blue blanket under his chin. He snuggles down beneath the sheet, listening to the warm tone of his mother’s voice, watching her red lips move as she speaks. “The colours around you explode like fireworks. Everything is _so_ much more vibrant. And when you touch them…” Her green eyes become dreamy for moment, as though she’s reminiscing about the first time she touched her soulmate, who Hux presumes is his father. She looks back down at him with a wild love in her eyes. “The same thing happens in your head.”

With a sort of sad smile, she kisses him on the forehead and turns his bedroom light off, leaving him imagining what it must feel like to have colourful fireworks explode in your mind. Young Hux feels confident that he’ll _absolutely_ know when he meets his soulmate if what his mother has told him is true. As the days go on, he makes a conscious effort to keep note of the colours around him when he meets new people; to see if they become more energetic, to see if the new person he's met is the one who's meant to complete him. But the colours around him don’t ever change.

 ////////////////////////////////

Hux is 14 years old when he’s sent to his father's office in the Academy with a bleeding nose and a split lip, with someone else's dried blood on his knuckles. His red hair is in disarray, light strands hanging over his forehead.

"Witnesses have reported that you threw the first punch," his father says with a glare. Hux stands in front of his father's grand wooden desk, his feet together and his fists clenched by his sides. He can feel his father's gaze on him, no doubt taking careful note of his ripped white uniform shirt. Hux had shed his blazer halfway through the brawl, not liking the way it restricted his arm movements. Presumably his father wouldn't be happy that he's lost that too.

"That is correct, sir," Hux replies, his gaze locked on the floor, his head slightly bowed. He doesn't dare look up. His father's eyes are harsh; the dark green colours of his irises aren't warm and welcoming like his mother's are. Hux always avoids looking his father directly in the eyes of he can manage.

“This is unacceptable behaviour, boy. What do you have to say for yourself?"  
   
Hux's eyes stay trailed on the floor. "He...He said that he doesn't understand why I have a soulmate and he doesn't. He said there's nothing special about me, that I don't deserve to see everything in colour." He lifts his hand up, staring at the red blood splattered across his knuckles from where his fist had met the other boy's nose and had silenced his taunts. Hux had desperately wanted to keep hitting the boy until he apologised, until he took back the mean things he’d said about Hux and his soulmate.  
   
"I'll have no more of this blasted soulmate nonsense," his father says, his tone incredibly sharp. "It's interfering with your schoolwork. I shall have words with your mother about telling you such childish stories.”

When Hux is dismissed from school later that afternoon, he trudges home, still without his blazer, though he supposes his father has enough money that he'll just buy him a new one. He never liked the blazer much anyway; it was grey and boring. He walks slowly, hands shoved into the pockets of his trousers, kicking a small, grey stone along the pathway. He decides to walk the long way back to his family's mansion, choosing to walk down the more scenic route instead of the bland one where he would only see grey, concrete buildings. The scenic route is brighter; he’ll see green grass and orange leaves on the trees. But mostly, he wants to see the field of bright red flowers that is located a couple of acres behind his house. He thinks the flowers are some form tulip, with their big petals and long stems. Hux supposes that they must've been planted by someone who has a soulmate, as the flowers aren't the most aesthetically pleasing, so they must've been chosen for their colour. He's never cared much for flowers, it's the vividness of their colour that he likes.

Though he’s sure it’s a childish notion, Hux’s favourite colour is red.

Red is fire; it's the colour of the blood on his knuckles and the colour of his hair on top of his head. It's the colour his world turns when he gets angry, when his rage takes over him and he feels strong enough that he can accomplish anything.  
   
But it's also the colour of these flowers, innocently blowing in the afternoon breeze. It's the colour of his favourite fruit, the colour of his mother's lipstick. Red is dynamic, vibrant and unique; Hux knows it empowers him in more than one way.    
   
He stands in front of the large field of flora, taking in the bright red hue. One day, Hux thinks, when he's found his soulmate, he's going to bring them back here, to show them these flowers and their mesmerising brightness. He's sure his soulmate will appreciate at the colour as much as he does. But when he looks back up at the flowers, he swears they look a little duller, fading into a darker shade of red. He blinks hard, rubbing his eyes with his fingers and, when he opens then again, everything looks as lively as it had done a few seconds ago. He frowns, feeling utterly confused as to what’s just happened. He looks up at the sky, seeing that no clouds had obscured the Sun. Perhaps his eyes areplaying tricks on him, or he supposes that the boy had hit him hard in the head during their fight earlier this afternoon. He gives one last admiring look to the field of flowers before continues walking home, expecting another scolding from his father about his behaviour when he gets in.  
   
Hux walks into his home through the black front door and walks into the kitchen, seeing that his parents are standing in the middle of the room. His mother is stood with her arms folded, leaning back against one of the counters whilst his father stands with his fists clenched by his sides, his cheeks bright red as though he's just been yelling. The paur of them abruptly halt their conversation when Hux walks in.

“Your father tells me you’ve been in a fight again,” his mother says as his father stares angrily at him.

Hux nods.

“Come here,” she says with a slight smile on her lips as she pats a spot on the kitchen counter. “Let’s get all that blood off you.”

He hops up onto the counter whilst his mother wets a blue cloth under the tap, dampening it with warm water. His father opens the medication cupboard, no doubt to grab pills for his own throbbing headache.

“Oh, whilst you’re there, could you pass me the blue bottle on the top shelf?” His mother asks, looking over at his father.

But to Hux’s dismay, his father hesitates. Hux looks up, seeing the blue bottle of some sort of medicinal cream on the top shelf. Hux Sr. turns to look angrily at his wife before he slams the cupboard shut with a forceful push and storms out of the kitchen. Hux looks at her, trying to figure out what the problem is.

_The **blue** bottle._

Hux frowns. “Why can’t father see colour--?”

“Go and change your clothes,” his mother says, interrupting him before he can quiz her about anything. She steps back, drying the water from his clean knuckles. “Dinner will be in an hour.”

Hux hops down from the counter and looks at her and she responds with a sad smile. Hux is young, but he’s perceptive and intelligent enough to realise that his mother can see in perfect colour, exactly like he can, but his father cannot. He leaves the room and traipses up the stairs, leaving his mother standing alone in the kitchen, knowing that Brendol won’t be pleased with her accidentally revealing to their son that he can’t see colour. Perhaps one day she’ll tell Hux the story of how she came to marry someone who isn’t her soulmate.

 ////////////////////////////////

Hux is 16 years old when he fully realises that his world is changing. The change has been gradual but he’s sure he’s not just imagining things, it isn’t just the miserable weather on Arkanis affecting his perceptions. The colour is being drained from the world around him; the sky isn’t as blue, the trees aren’t as green and he doesn’t get as overwhelmed with vicious emotions when he stares at the field of glorious red flowers, because they aren't  _glorious_ anymore. Hux is worried that something is wrong with his soulmate, which is the cause of him losing his ability to see colour. He has confronted his mother about it on numerous occasions but she’s brushed his paranoia aside every single time, in futile attempts to reassure him that his soulmate is perfectly fine.

Hux isn’t convinced. He knows the dulling of the colours he sees means his soulmate is dying, excruciatingly slowly. And Hux is completely helpless to stop it.

He sits in his bedroom one evening, watching the stars ermerging in the sky, imagining that his soulmate is looking at the stars too. Hux has never been one for relying on idle hope; it’s completely ridiculous and illogical to believe that _hoping_ could change the outcome of something that one didn’t have control over. But as he sits staring at the greying sky in the middle of the evening when the sky is usually a shade of pale pink, Hux _hopes_ that his soulmate will survive whatever it is they’re suffering through, at least long enough for Hux to meet them.

////////////////////////////////

Hux is 19 when the colour completely leaves him. It’s a beautiful evening when it finally happens; the warm, orange sun is low in the pink sky, the green trees sway in the breeze…but Hux can hardly see any of it. The colour is barely there. Soon, he’ll only be able to see in black and white which would only mean one thing: his soulmate would be dead. He’s been expecting this to happen as he’d watched the colour drain from around him day by day for the last couple of years. He’d wake up in the morning, and walk into his bathroom, taking note of how his hair is no longer _red_ and his eyes are no longer _green._ Everything is greying. Although, he admits privately to himself that he’d been hopeful that the Galaxy wouldn’t be so cruel; that surely he wouldn’t lose his soulmate before he’s even had the chance to meet them.

He stands in front of the field of red flowers, wanting desperately to see their vivid colours again. He never got the chance to show his soulmate these flowers, and he never will. He shoves his hands into his the pockets of his grey trousers, though he’s sure they used to be a shade of dark blue. As the breeze turns a little colder he pulls his black jacket tightly around his body, being relatively thankful that he has a selection of black clothes that won’t look much different to him. He stands still, watching as the final shades of crimson fade into slate grey, the world around him doing the same. Everything has become ashen and barren. He doesn’t feel anything anymore, Hux feels as though he himself has become devoid of colour, that he’s become grey. Even as he stares as the vast spread of flora in front of him, it doesn’t bring him the same electric emotion that it once had when he could actually _see_ the red of their petals and the green of their stems.

Hux’s soulmate, whoever they are, is dead. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!  
> My tumblr is also [here.](http://solohux.tumblr.com/)


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I made [this post](http://solohux.tumblr.com/post/143802958344/okay-so-we-all-know-the-soulmate-au-where-you-see) on tumblr about Hux/Ben being soulmates and I never expected it to get so many notes! So I couldn't resist writing it! I hope you like it!
> 
> And thank you so much to sigalawin for drawing [this beautiful art! ](http://sigalawin.tumblr.com/post/144298443574/that-soulmate-au-where-if-your-soulmate-is-alive)

For as long as Kylo Ren can remember, he's been able to see everything in colour. And he despises it.  
   
Granted, his colour vision isn't as vibrant as it used to be. Things became a lot duller once he had gotten rid of Ben Solo but still, his vision isn't as monochrome as he'd like it to be. He sits in the cockpit of his _Upsilon_ -class command ship, travelling towards a First Order star destroyer aptly named the _'Finalizer'_. By orders of the Supreme Leader, he's to become co-commander of the vessel with its current commander, General Hux, a man whom Kylo has never met, though his master has told him that Hux is an extremely capable individual and will aid the Order in achieving dominance across the Galaxy. Kylo has his reserves about the General, as he does with every new person he meets. He’d read a little bit on Hux’s background before he’d begun his journey to the _Finalizer,_ noting that Hux is the only son of Commandant Brendol Hux and that he graduated top of his class from Arkanis Academy, becoming the youngest man to achieve the status of General. But a personnel file could only tell Kylo so much about the man he’s going to be sharing command with; he’ll come to his own conclusions about General Hux once he meets him.

Kylo brushes stray strands of hair from his eyes and looks down at the control panel of his ship, seeing the red and yellow lights flickering as he approaches the _Finalizer._ What he’d give for those lights to be white. He refrains from breaking them, being slightly comforted by the fact that he’ll be docking in a couple of minutes and star destroyers are notoriously _grey,_ so at least he won’t particularly have to deal with seeing vivid colours on a daily basis _._ He looks to his helmet, which is placed on the empty seat next to him, and he supposes that he could put it on, seeing as the visor has been specially designed to turn everything to the black and white that he so desperately wants his world to be, but excessive wearing of the helmet plays havoc with his mind. Wearing it for prolonged periods of time makes him dizzy as a result of it blocking out the colour that his mind so obviously wants him to see.

Whilst he’d been told throughout his childhood that seeing in colour is a gift, in adulthood, Kylo just finds it to be a nuisance. He wishes that the colour had drained from everything completely when Ben had ceased to exist and Kylo had taken over, but things just turned a little muted, less energetic. For Kylo, the colour is just a perpetual reminder of his previous life, of the constant pull he feels to the Light Side, and of his soulmate. Snoke has told him on numerous different occasions that he doesn’t have a soulmate; Ben Solo did, but the boy is completely gone so Kylo needn’t concern himself with the soulmate of a dead boy. Snoke has called the whole soulmate business ‘ _complete nonsense’_ but it had never felt like that to Ben, no matter how much Snoke had insisted that to him when he’d first begun to speak to Ben when he was just a boy. Kylo remembers Ben’s mother being ecstatic when she had realised that he could see in bright colour like her and his father could. He also distinctly remembers Ben feeling _not so alone_ anymore when his mother had told him what seeing in colour meant for him; that there’s someone out there in the galaxy who was made just for him. But the dark voice inside Ben’s young mind had told him that soulmates are a ridiculous concept, that Ben is destined for greater things than finding the one who’s made from the same stars as he is.

When Kylo had left the Jedi Academy in tatters and embraced the power of the Dark Side, he remembers sparing a small, and quiet, thought to his soulmate. Ben had once asked his mother what happened if you _lost_ your soulmate and her reply had stuck with him: your world would drain of its colour and everything would become grey and lonely, including your own soul. At first, Kylo had wondered whether this is what had happened to Ben’s soulmate, seeing as that since Kylo had taken over, Ben no longer existed. He supposed that this would have meant that his soulmate’s vision had most likely faded into monochrome. But none of this matters to Kylo anymore.

Despite the colour telling him otherwise, Kylo Ren does not have a soulmate.

His ship docks in the grand hangar of the _Finalizer_ and, out of the viewport, he sees row upon row of Stormtrooper and military officer lined-up in an organised formation to formally greet him. He grabs his helmet from the seat and places it on his head, feeling a slight relief when everything around him turns ashen. He walks out of his ship down the ramp and one man steps out from the crowd, his back rigidly straight. Kylo immediately knows that this man is General Hux, judging from the lines of rank on the sleeve of his greatcoat, which he’s obviously very proud of.

“Lord Ren, welcome aboard the _Finalizer._ I am General Hux.”

Hux’s voice is clipped, polished and completely matches his cold appearance.

But before Kylo can compose a reply, the edges of his vision begin to flicker as his visor fails to block out the brightening colour. He refrains from gasping as his colour vision returns to him in quick flashes and bursts. But the hangar of the ship is mostly made up of bland shades of greys and blacks, with the uniforms of the troopers and officers matching. The only true colours he can see are Hux’s green eyes and red hair.

Kylo has never seen anyone with red hair before.

Hux is stern and seemingly adheres to a strictly professional demeanour at all times, but he’s the brightest thing in the entire hangar at the moment, and it takes all of Kylo’s mental strength to keep the Light suppressed. He recalls Snoke telling him that Hux isn’t Force-sensitive, and Kylo is incredibly thankful for this fact at this present moment. He knows what the sudden illumination of colours means, but Kylo suppresses the notion. He wouldn’t believe it. Still, Hux’s expression hasn’t changed throughout the entire time Kylo has been stood in front of him, so he couldn’t be his soulmate, or else Hux would have felt something too.

 _Not if he’s Ben’s soulmate,_ Kylo thinks but he quickly pushes away all tempting thoughts. He wouldn’t allow this to happen, not when he’s trained so hard block out all this soulmate folly. He wouldn’t be compromised upon his immediate arrival at his new post.

“General Hux. Your welcome is appreciated. The Supreme Leader is pleased with your progress and urges you to carry on your admirable work.” Kylo rolls his shoulders, feeling as though he shouldn’t look Hux directly in his green eyes for fear of falling. “I am weary from travel. I would appreciate it if I could be shown to my quarters.”

“Of course,” Hux replies and turns slightly, though he keeps his gaze locked on the front of Kylo’s mask. “This way.”

Kylo wearily follows Hux out of the hangar and along the corridors of the _Finalizer._ He walks next to Hux, though one small step behind him, and all Kylo can do is stare at the red hair peeking out from underneath Hux’s black hat. Kylo curses his helmet; it’s never failed him like this before. So much for the visor blocking out _all_ colour and dampening the call to the Light. He needs to meditate if he’s going to keep up the level of strength he’s using to block out his temptations. He follows Hux into the turbolift and stands solidly next to him. The air around them is tense, though Kylo knows he’s agitated for a different reason than Hux is. He draws his gaze away from Hux for a second to stare at the bright blue lights on the control panel of the lift. Kylo inwardly curses.

“I trust the Supreme Leader has debriefed you on your role aboard this ship,” Hux says, filling the silence. Kylo can sense that Hux is less than pleased at having a Force-using Knight assigned to co-command the flagship of the First Order. Hux sees this as _his_ ship, and Kylo has a feeling that his presence here isn’t going to change this. It isn’t that Snoke questions Hux’s ability to lead, but Kylo is sure that Hux isn’t aware of this. With Starkiller Base nearing completion, Snoke had thought it the wisest move to unite his best General and his best Knight in command to ensure optimal success. But Kylo can tell that Hux doesn’t like to have his authority questioned, this much is clear upon first impressions.

“He has,” Kylo replies stiffly, not wanting to engage in any sort of conversation with the man who is supposedly meant to be his soulmate. _Ben’s soulmate._ Talking to Hux would only compromise him further, push him further from the Dark Side. He’s already decided that the best thing to do for the time being would be to avoid Hux as much as he possibly can. Hux’s presence is still colourfully bright next to him and Kylo swears he’s going to go insane if he doesn’t leave Hux’s company soon.

“Good,” Hux says with a slight nod. “There’s a datapad in your quarters which is filled with the essential information you will need to study regarding the daily schedules and locations of important areas on board. Training rooms and so forth.”

“I’ve never been one for schedules,” Kylo replies and he can immediately tell that Hux is annoyed. Hux already doesn’t like him, which suits Kylo right down to the ground.

The doors of the lift swish open and Hux walks out, his hands held gracefully behind his back. Kylo’s gaze trails up to the back of Hux’s neck, where he sees red strands of hair hanging down underneath the base of his hat, and Kylo has the overwhelming urge to _touch it,_ to comb his fingers through his vibrant red hair.

Hux halts in front of a black door.

“Here we are,” Hux says with a gesture of his hand. “I trust everything will be to your liking, Lord Ren.”

“Thank you, General. I ask that I am not to be disturbed for the rest of the evening. I will return to my shuttle in the morning to collect my possessions. Goodnight.”

Before Hux can reply, Kylo has entered his new quarters and the door has automatically swished closed behind him. He turns to the control panel next to the door and locks it, just to be on the safe side. General Hux doesn’t seem to be the type of man who would respect privacy. As soon as Kylo is content that the door is locked and General Hux has walked away from his quarters, he raises his hands to his mask and pulls it off, throwing it aside and doing the same with his black gloves. He rubs his eyes hard, breathing rapidly through gritted teeth. Opening his eyes, Kylo sees that _everything_ is in colour, which only infuriates him. As his rage at seeing such brightness around him grows, his world sinks back into dull colour as the Dark Side of the Force surrounds him. He exhales slowly, never wanting to experience anything like that again. He considers consulting the Supreme Leader on his recent experience, but he knows Snoke wouldn’t be pleased that Kylo has been so _weak_ and allowed the colour, and the Light, to temporarily take over him. He channels dark energy through his entire being as his world turns back into the dull and subdued one he’s come to know.

Kylo doesn't want this, he wants to see in black and white. He doesn't have a soulmate, and it certainly isn't the cold and calculated General Hux.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!  
> My tumblr is also [here.](http://solohux.tumblr.com/)


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I made [this post](http://solohux.tumblr.com/post/143802958344/okay-so-we-all-know-the-soulmate-au-where-you-see) on tumblr about Hux/Ben being soulmates and I never expected it to get so many notes! So I couldn't resist writing it! I hope you like it!
> 
> And thank you so much to sigalawin for drawing [this beautiful art! ](http://sigalawin.tumblr.com/post/144298443574/that-soulmate-au-where-if-your-soulmate-is-alive)

Hux hasn’t seen colour for 14 years. For a short period of time just after his soulmate had passed away, Hux’s memories and thoughts were still in the bright and vivid hue that he once saw the galaxy in, but not anymore. His mind is just as colourless as his vision; it’s been far too long since he’s seen anything but bland black and white. He’s learned not to think about it too much. Hux knows that dwelling on his unfortunate past will only compromise the success of his future, and with his Starkiller project verging on completion, he can’t afford to be jeopardized by thinking about the potential life he _could_ have had with his soulmate. What Hux would give to have simply known their _name_ before they were ripped away from him when he was still so young.

Hux sits rigidly at his desk in his quarters, flicking through holo-schematics of Starkiller Base, staring at the glowing hologram that hovers above the wood of his desk. He flicks through the pages of statistics on his datapad, occasionally glancing up every once in a while to look at the spinning projection of his planet-sized superweapon. He picks up the mug next to him and sips at the hot caf, needing every ounce of extra energy he can get to prevent himself falling asleep at his desk. There’s too much work that needs to be done: Starkiller still has a few issues that need ironing out, as Hux wants everything to be perfect on its first use, but Hux is relatively optimistic that things will be fully operational within the next year. If Hux is being honest with himself, he’s looking forward to ripping the galaxy apart slowly, piece by piece. He’s going to make the galaxy suffer for taking his soulmate away from him; for taking his colour away, his hope, and his light too.

Though, the last four months in particular have been a source of added stress for Hux. With Kylo Ren now permanently based on board the _Finalizer_ , Hux feels as though the Supreme Leader is _constantly_ watching him, as though Kylo is reporting his every move back to Snoke for intense scrutiny. Kylo has left the ship a couple of times for _private missions_ but besides that, he’s been on board constantly. Having said that, Hux thinks, he’s barely seen Ren these few past months. Not to hold a conversation with anyway, not that Hux has much to say to him. He usually sees Kylo down the corridors, passing Hux awkwardly without as much as a ‘ _hello.’_ He supposes they haven’t much in common and their first meeting hadn’t been particularly pleasant. Kylo had only been on his ship for five minutes before he practically slammed his _bedroom door_ in Hux’s face, not that Hux had expected the infamous, reckless apprentice of Supreme Leader Snoke to be well-mannered. Hux remembers scowling at the door and walking away, noting Kylo’s behaviour down as _odd._

Hux looks up from his datapad for a second, glancing quickly at the blueprints of Starkiller. He does a double-take before his jaw falls open in awe. The schematics of his superweapon are _blue._ Hux blinks hard and looks around, being sure that he’s just so exhausted that his mind is playing tricks on him. But the projection of the model are definitely glowing a light shade of blue as they hover above the surface of his desk.

“What…?” He says to himself in a whisper, feeling a strange sense of panic beginning to rise within him.

The mug next to him is _red._ His hand hovers near it as though he’s afraid to pick it up, as though it isn’t real. Hux scrambles to stand up from the chair as more colours present themselves to him; the brown of his desk, the light grey of the walls, the faint yellow glow from his desk lamp. Hux staggers back from his desk, knocking his chair over in the process. He stumbles across his quarters to his bathroom to look in the mirror. When his reflection comes into view, Hux has to throw his hand over his mouth in fear that he’s going to start crying.

His eyes are _green_ again, the same shade of green that his mothers were, and his hair is _red,_ though a slightly darker shade than he remembers, though he absently supposes that occurred as a result of his maturing over the last 14 years since he last saw his own hair colour. He raises a shaking hand to his head to run his hand through his hair, feeling as though he’s suddenly _alive_ again, but he’s completely bewildered as to what’s happening to him. Would it be possible that his soulmate has come back to life? Hux brushes that thought away quickly. It isn’t possible to bring back the dead. Perhaps he’s gained another soulmate? He shakes his head, knowing that one could only have _one_ soulmate in one’s lifetime so he axes that idea from his mind too. The only plausible notion that Hux is left with is ridiculous, he thinks. It can’t be true; he’d watched the colour drain from his world, he’d felt himself become colourless as his soulmate had passed away, but the only explanation Hux has is that his soulmate never really died. _Somehow_. Though he’s unsure of the details, perhaps a coma is the explanation. His mind is in a spin, attempting to unravel the enigma he’s been thrust into.

The sound of his comlink buzzing disrupts his dreamlike state. Hux curses whoever is disturbing him, but he slumps towards his desk, picking the comlink up and answering it rather abruptly.

“What is it?”

“ _I apologise for disrupting you at such a late hour, General, but I didn’t know who else to contact.”_

It’s a male officer, relatively young by the sounds of his voice.

“What’s the problem?” Hux asks, growing more and more impatient. He absently stares at the red mug on his desk, still unbelieving at his colour sight returning.

“ _It’s Lord Ren, sir. He’s…rampaging. Down by the Interrogation Room in Sector 12.”_

Hux sighs. Trust it to be that insolent Knight who interrupts his night.

“I’ll investigate the situation,” Hux says as he shoves the comlink back down on the desk with a hard shove, seeing that he’s left a tiny, light brown scuff in the wood of his desk. He’s forgotten what it felt like to see things in colour. It’s _overwhelming,_ but in a seemingly good way. And Kylo has to go and ruin it.

Hux walks with vigour down to Sector 12, his fists clenched angrily at his sides. He can’t help but get distracted as his eyes dart about the corridors, taking in what his ship _truly_ looks like. Star Destroyers are notoriously grey in décor, which Hux had been all-too happy about when he’d taken over command of the _Finalizer,_ knowing that he wouldn’t have to deal with being surrounded by gorgeous colours on a daily basis and not being able to perceive them. He’s kept his quarters as grey as he could manage too, but as he walks down the corridors, he can’t help but stare at the red flashing lights on some of the consoles, the bright blond hair of a male officer who salutes him as he passes, the blue buttons inside the turbolift that blink in a sequential manner as he descends. Hux feels as though he could collapse from being overwhelmed with such colour. He has no idea what’s going on, but _clearly_ Kylo’s troubles take priority.

He walks right past a gaggle of officers all cowering at the top of the corridor, and Hux sees white sparks coming from the inside of the Interrogation Room. Hux isn’t afraid of Kylo, or his lightsaber, or his ridiculous Force-powers. He’s a man who hides behind a mask and lashes out when things don’t go his way, though Hux admits that this is the first time that Kylo has acted violently like this, taking his frustrations out on Hux’s ship.

Hux walks into the room, finding that his mind becomes distracted once again when he sees Kylo’s flickering lightsaber ignited for the first time; it’s the same shade of red as the flowers back on Arkanis.

“Ren!” Hux shouts, as the Knight obviously hasn’t realised that Hux has entered the room.

Kylo halts the swinging of his lightsaber, lowering it back down to his side slowly as it deactivates. He turns to face Hux, who notes the silver lines on the front of Ren’s mask. But before Hux can say anything else, the edges of his vision burst into the most vibrant colour Hux has ever seen and he’s forced to grab his head as his vision is consumed with a glowing hue, his eyes scrunching closed. He groans in pain; maybe if he’d been used to such colour, he wouldn’t feel as stunned and it wouldn’t be as uncomfortable. This definitely isn’t how his mother had described it.

He’s about to question it but as Hux opens his eyes, he sees Kylo take a step towards him, stretching his arm outwards towards Hux, his fingers spreading out wide and waving slightly in the air. Hux’s consciousness leaves him quickly, but not before he feels Kylo’s arm sliding around his shoulders.

///////////////////////

When Hux wakes up, the colour is gone. His world has been plunged back into the monochrome dullness that’s he’s come to know. _And hate._  

He opens his eyes slowly, finding himself staring up at the familiar black ceiling in his own personal quarters. He’s lying on his bed, flat on his back, still in his First Order uniform. Hux frowns, feeling as though he’s unable to recall the moments that led to him getting back to his quarters.

_Ah, yes. Ren._

Hux tries not to think of the fact that Kylo probably carried him back up here bridal-style, and he most definitely doesn’t think about what had happened to his colour vision in the moments before Kylo had assaulted his mind and knocked him out. Hux wonders if such behaviour is grounds for a court martial. He hears footsteps from over the other side of the room and sees the Knight pacing slowly around Hux’s quarters, looking intensely at Hux’s belongings that he has neatly organised on his shelves. Hux can’t help but stare at the mug that he left on his desk, wishing he could see its red shine.

“You’re awake,” Kylo says as he steps closer to the bed, looking down at Hux, still with his mask on.

Hux pushes himself up on to his elbows. “Obviously. Would you care to tell me _why_ you thought it was necessary to knock me out?”

“I had to. Before you caused a scene.”

Hux recoils as though Kylo has just physically hit him. “Before _I_ caused a scene?! You’ve torn apart the Interrogation Chamber!”

Kylo doesn’t rise to Hux’s anger, though Hux is sure that he’s frowning at him from underneath that ridiculous helmet.

“What did you see in the moments before you passed out?” Kylo asks, his voice distorted.

“You mean _besides_ you destroying my ship, you masked menace?”

Hux notes that Kylo seems to falter when he insults him, as though no one has ever called him such a thing before, as though no one has ever dared question his anger. Kylo lifts his hands to his mask, and Hux can’t help but hitch his breath in his throat when Kylo pulls it completely off his head.

With Hux only having met him four months ago, he knows he’s only got a vague understanding of who Kylo Ren is. When Hux had received orders from the Supreme Leader that he is to share his command with the Master of the Knights of Ren, Hux had been less than impressed. Kylo’s _reckless_ reputation had proceeded him. Hux had heard tales of how Snoke’s apprentice is incredibly powerful with the Dark Side of the Force and how his recklessness and anger have made him strong in the battlefield. Hux had supposed that such a reputation belonged to someone _of age_ , and that perhaps he wore the helmet in order to hide some form of facial disfigurement or ugly battle scar. After all, Snoke’s face held some incredibly nasty deformities so Hux thought it was entirely plausible for his apprentice to be the same.

Hux had been wrong on almost every level.

He’s astounded by how _young_ Kylo is, how there’s not a blemish on his youthful face. Kylo’s eyes are incredibly dark and Hux absently finds himself almost _wishing_ he could see what colour they are. His dark hair frames his chiselled face, falling perfectly into place despite having just pulled his helmet off.

“Tell me, General,” Kylo says, and Hux swears he feels his heart quiver at his deep voice, hearing it for the first time without the mask’s modulator. “Do you see in colour or in black and white?”

“That’s none of your concern,” Hux replies defensively.

“After what happened in the seconds before your unconsciousness, I believe you’ll find that it’s _entirely_ my concern.”

Hux frowns. He knows full well what Kylo is implying, what conclusion the whole situation is pointing towards, but Hux won’t accept it. Kylo Ren isn’t his soulmate. But Hux decides to humour him for now with an answer to his question.

“I _did_ see in colour. Not anymore.”

Kylo stares at him, with a slight raise of his eyebrows, willing him to carry on talking. Hux rolls his eyes with a groan and sits up properly, swinging his legs over the side of the bed, folding his hands in his lap. He concentrates on his words, not wanting to get emotional like he had done on the night after he’d stood and watched his field of flowers turn into grey. He remembers walking back home, not caring that it had begun to rain heavily on him. He remembers feeling _crushed_ when his mother greeted him when he’d walked through the door, as her eyes were empty, devoid of colour like everything else. But most of all, Hux remembers feeling completely _alone,_ despite still having both of his parents alive and well, and despite sitting in a classroom full of pupils; his soulmate was dead, and Hux swore revenge. He stares down at his folded hands.

“I was born with the ability to see in colour. But it began to drain from me in my mid-teens. My soulmate died when I was 19. I watched the colour leave me for _years_ before it finally left me.” Hux looks up at Ren, seeing the Knight is already looking back at him with emotional eyes. “It’s not you,” Hux says with a slight shake of his head. “It _can’t_ be you.”

Hux hasn’t convinced himself, seeing as he has no other valid explanation as to why the colour exploded so vividly around him when Kylo had turned to look at him.

“I don’t have a soulmate,” Kylo says, and Hux feels strange for a moment, as though there had been a slight _hope_ inside him that he wasn’t alone in the galaxy anymore, that even if he didn’t _want_ his soulmate to be Kylo Ren, he’d accept it regardless if it meant he wouldn’t be alone anymore.

“So you see in black and white?”

“Well, no. Not exactly.”

Hux frowns, utterly confused. “ _Not exactly?_ You either do or don’t, Ren. There’s no in-between. If you see in colour, you _have_ a soulmate.”

“Fine,” Kylo says bitterly, shrugging his shoulders. “I _have_ a soulmate, but it’s irrelevant. I don’t need one.”

Hux rolls his eyes. Trust Kylo Ren to be the only person in the history of the galaxy to decide that he doesn’t _need_ his soulmate. _Oh, the irony,_ Hux thinks, guessing that Ren needs a soulmate more than Hux does. But Hux realises something as he begins to attempt to unravel the situation, recalling Ren’s odd behaviour when they’d first met; the way Ren had hidden away in his quarters and asked for Hux not to disturb him.

“What happened to your colour when you met me for the first time, Ren? _”_

Hux can tell that Kylo doesn’t approve of him asking questions, but Hux has never been one to shy away from asking the questions that he most wants to know the answers to, despite how uncomfortable they make people. Kylo’s eyebrows knit together in a slight frown, as though he’s mentally debating whether he should tell Hux or not.

“My colour vision isn’t as bright as it used to be. Everything is dull, but not grey. But when I saw you, I…everything became brighter. But having a soulmate and turning to the Dark Side don’t blend. Those who draw on the Dark Side for their power aren’t meant to have soulmates.”

“Is that what Snoke told you?”

Kylo stays completely silent, his gaze dropping to the floor, avoiding Hux’s eyes. Hux can tell he’s overstepped the mark, as though Ren is a small animal that Hux has suddenly startled. Hux doubts that Kylo will cooperate now, he doesn’t think he’ll answer any more of his burning questions. But something is sticking out in Hux’s mind that he has to address, else he’s sure it’ll consume him. Hux has a small knowledge of the inner workings of the Force, the concepts of there being a _Light_ Side and a _Dark_ Side, and how users usually fall between one of those two brackets. Hux’s mind reels with questions about Kylo’s fall to the Dark.

“…How old were you when you turned to the Dark Side, Ren?”

The Knight shifts his weight from one foot to the other, obviously feeling uncomfortable at Hux’s question. “I…I don’t--”

“How old!?”

“15.”

“And how old are you now?”

Kylo seemingly hesitates for a second, but Hux gives him an intense stare.

“I’m 29.”

Hux glances down at his hands, quickly working through the arithmetic in his head and analysing their ages together, to see if the puzzle pieces fit together. To Hux’s dismay, everything adds up. He would have been 19 when Kylo completely turned to the Dark Side, the same age he was on the day where he’d stood and watched the final droplets of colour leave his world. Hux buries his head in his hands and groans loudly, as though he’s insulted by the fact that everything seems to fit together.

“Hold on,” Hux says, sitting up straight. “I’m not seeing anything in colour _now._ And you’re most definitely _here_ and _alive._ ”

But Kylo seemingly has an answer for everything, much to Hux’s dislike.

“I’m drawing _only_ from the Dark Side now.”

 _“What?”_ Hux rubs his temple. Clearly Kylo has forgotten that Hux’s knowledge of the Force is limited. He watches as Kylo begins to pace around Hux’s quarters again, his frustration seemingly growing with each step he takes.

“It’s…complicated,” he sighs, and Hux can hear a slight quiver in his voice, “I feel a _constant_ pull to the Light. And when it becomes too strong for me to handle…it would seem as though your colour comes back.”

Hux can’t help but roll his eyes. Most ordinary people find their soulmates with no hitches at all, embrace each other and spend the rest of their lives together in complete harmony. Hux looks down at his folded hands in his lap. Why can’t he have that? Why does he have to be the one whose _soul_ is drawn to the most ignorant and inattentive man in the galaxy? Hux sighs. Just for once, he wants something _good._

But Hux carries on denying it all, knowing thar Kylo wouldn't appreciate Hux's attempts at persuading him otherwise. “That’s insane, Ren. I’m hardly convinced that it even works like that. My colour comes back because you’re becoming the person you were before you turned?”

“No!” Kylo shouts, startling Hux. Kylo turns around quickly on his heels, his teeth gritted in anger. “Ben Solo is dead! I’m not him anymore!”

 _Ben Solo._ The name echoes around Hux’s mind like a single, perfect note being played to an empty concert hall. It’s the name he had so desperately wanted to know when he was younger; the name of the one who was made to match his soul.

“What’s your explanation then, Ren?” Hux stands up from the bed, brushing off the creases of his uniform trousers. He stands calmly in front of Kylo , who is still seemingly coming down from his sudden outburst of anger. “That I am _your_ soulmate, but you’re not mine?”

Kylo’s voice is calm and smooth again. He straightens his back. “I don’t have a soulma--”

“Yes. You’ve made that extensively clear, Ren.” Hux is getting incredibly frustrated by the whole situation, but he can’t help the feeling of his heart sinking in his chest. “But it appears as though I still do.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really apologise if I've completely got the ages wrong. I know Hux is 34 and Kylo is 30 when TFA happens, and this is like a year before that. And I remember reading somewhere that Ben Solo became Kylo Ren when he was 15? But like I said, I'm sorry if that's totally wrong! 
> 
> Thanks for reading!  
> My tumblr is also [here.](http://solohux.tumblr.com/)


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I made [this post](http://solohux.tumblr.com/post/143802958344/okay-so-we-all-know-the-soulmate-au-where-you-see) on tumblr about Hux/Ben being soulmates and I never expected it to get so many notes! So I couldn't resist writing it! I hope you like it!
> 
> And thank you so much to sigalawin for drawing [this beautiful art! ](http://sigalawin.tumblr.com/post/144298443574/that-soulmate-au-where-if-your-soulmate-is-alive)

Over the course of the next year, Hux’s colour returns to him on eight separate occasions and fades almost as soon as it comes. After the fourth time that it had happened, Hux had been strong and had forced himself to ignore it, seeing as nothing can ever come out of it; Kylo Ren has made it inherently clear that he doesn’t have a soulmate, and that he certainly doesn’t _want_ Hux. The most recent episode of Hux’s colour flickering back into existence around him had only happened three cycles ago, when Kylo had returned to the _Finalizer_ from a mission in the Inner Rim after failing to locate the whereabouts of a map that, supposedly, leads straight to Luke Skywalker. It was relatively late in the ship’s evening, and Hux had been settled in bed, reading reports on his datapad when suddenly the screen in front of him seemed to be beginning to glow a faint shade of blue. Hux remembers not even flinching, continuing to read through his work as though nothing had changed.

Since that conversation with Kylo about the two of them _technically_ being soulmates, their interactions have been strictly and purely professional. Kylo hasn’t mentioned the topic to Hux, and Hux hasn’t to Kylo. Kylo has made it explicitly clear that he _does not_ have a soulmate but for Hux, he can’t help but think completely the opposite. Though he tries not to dwell on Ben Solo, Hux occasionally allows his mind to drift to him, imagining what Kylo Ren was like before he turned to the Dark Side. Hux doesn’t suppose that they’re two separate people, though he admits that his knowledge of the Force is limited, despite making an attempt to read all of the texts he can find on the topic. There’s little available documentation on the topic of what happens when one ‘falls to the Dark Side’ but Hux is sharp enough to read between the lines on what the texts fail to mention. He guesses that Ben Solo _became_ Kylo Ren, rather than Ben Solo being ‘destroyed’ per se; effectively putting a dark dampener on their soul bond and even severing it for a period of time when Ben had first fallen. But each time Kylo feels a call to the Light, Hux swears he can feel his soul somehow growing stronger, but he pushes such thoughts away. After all, Kylo clearly thinks nothing of him, so why should Hux waste his valuable thinking time on someone who will never want him?

Hux currently stands on the bridge of the _Finalizer,_ watching as Kylo’s command shuttle and accompanying Atmospheric Assault Landers, descend on Jakku, a desert planet where the map to Skywalker has supposedly been found. Hux had put the puzzle pieces together not long after Kylo had let it slip that his _real_ name is Ben Solo…the only son of Leia Organa and Han Solo, thus nephew of Luke Skywalker and grandson of Anakin Skywalker. Of course, Hux feels as though that, with everything else that’s happened to him in his lifetime, he should have guessed that _his_ soulmate would be a bloody Skywalker; ever dramatic in their family affairs. Nothing in Hux’s life has ever been simple or straightforward; why should his soulmate be any different? He supposes that a lot of Kylo’s actions made complete sense now that Hux knows he’s of the Skywalker bloodline.

Hux paces the length of the bridge as his officers bustle around him as usual, monitoring the status of the invasion occurring on the planet below. He absently wonders whether he’s become desensitised to the sensation of his colours returning to him. It’s happened so frequently, and Kylo hasn’t breathed a word to him about the whole _soulmate_ business since they’d both realised that they are cut from the same stars, not that that seemingly has any bearing on Ren’s feelings towards Hux. And after four consoles, two training rooms, two engineers and a TIE fighter have felt the brunt of Kylo’s unfathomable rage, Hux is apprehensive to approach him to find out more on the topic of Ben Solo. But Hux can’t help his desire to know _more_ about the boy he’d dreamed of meeting when he was younger.

Kylo’s shuttle arrives back on board the _Finalizer_ shortly after Hux’s ponderings, without the map but with a Resistance pilot as a prisoner of the First Order. Hux has grown accustomed to Kylo’s methods of interrogation so he decides to make his way down to Deck 12 slowly, knowing that the prisoner will be being tortured until they decide to cooperate and tell Ren what he wants to know. If not, Kylo would no doubt resort to his _other_ methods of interrogation. As soon as Hux nears the door of the Interrogation Chamber, he hears the pilot’s cries of agony and Hux knows that only Kylo’s torturous mind violation is capable of eliciting such a pained reaction. Deciding to wait outside for news of the pilot’s interrogation, Hux folds his arms across his chest and waits. Soon enough, Kylo strides out of the room, leaving the Resistance pilot slumped unconsciously in the chair.

“It’s in a droid. A BB-unit,” Kylo says, addressing Hux.

“Well then,” Hux begins with a slight smile on his lips, “if it’s on Jakku, we’ll soon have it.”

He finds himself smirking, staring at Kylo’s mask, remembering how the lines on its front are silver, and not the _grey_ he currently sees them as. It’s a futile attempt to be _warm_ towards Kylo Ren for once, rather than remaining strictly professional and cold.

“I leave that to you,” Kylo replies and walks away, seemingly unfazed by Hux’s attempt at _friendliness._

Hux’s expression drops as soon as Kylo is out of sight.

/////////////////////////

To everyone’s dismay, and especially Hux’s, the Resistance scum escapes with the help of a defective Stormtrooper, and Hux’s squad of troops on Jakku fail to intercept the BB-unit. Hux is less than pleased with these recent developments, feeling as though everything that _could_ go wrong, has gone wrong. And what’s worse, Snoke is requesting a _personal_ update on the situation from the grand audience chamber on Starkiller Base. Hux isn’t afraid of Snoke, or of the Dark Side for that matter; he’d just rather not list his failures in front of someone who could snap his neck with one hand movement.

Hux walks briskly towards Kylo’s quarters after failing to contact the Knight on his comlink, and Hux needs to inform him of Snoke’s orders. Before Hux can even knock on the door, it swishes open quickly, startling Hux to the point where he steps back. Kylo stands in the doorway, maskless, wearing loose trousers and, what Hux would describe as, a silk bathrobe, sitting just above his knees and parted slightly so Hux can get a glimpse of his bare torso.

“I was meditating,” Kylo says, obviously insulted by the fact that Hux has disturbed him.

“I didn’t even _knock_ on the door. And my footsteps certainly weren’t loud enough for you to hear,” Hux replies sharply.

Kylo shrugs, turning his back on Hux and walking back into his room. Hux follows, the door swishing closed behind him.

“I could hear your ridiculously loud mind coming down the corridor, Hux. What do you want?”

Hux is incredibly distracted by the soft skin of Kylo’s chest that is on show between the opening of his robe, the gentle curve of his collarbone. Not to mention his face is a huge distraction; his young face that Hux often finds himself thinking of before he drifts into sleep. He tries not to allow his gaze to drift downwards to Kylo’s exposed chest, as the last thing he wants is to happen is Kylo notice him embarrassingly staring at the defined muscles of his stomach. Instead, Hux looks around Kylo’s quarters, noting that there are a lot more personal possessions than he thought there’d be, including two shelves mounted on the wall; one with old-looking books on and the other with an assortment of random items that Hux is incredibly curious about. He steps a little closer, trying to deduce the _grey_ items on the shelf; there's a little stone, a round bottle with some form of liquid inside, a dainty flower preserved between two pieces of glass, a long, dark feather and a bright, swirled seashell. Hux frowns.

 _What an incredibly odd selection of items for a Knight to have in his quarters,_ Hux thinks. But when he senses Kylo's eyes burrowing into his head, he decides to ignore Kylo's odd preference for interior decorating and infrom him of Snoke's orders.

“The Supreme Leader has requested we travel to Starkiller to have a face-to-face session with him via the advanced holographic capabilities of Starkiller’s audience chamber. You weren’t answering your comlink so I was forced to deliver the order to you personally,” Hux explains, feeling as though he’s made a huge mistake by coming into Kylo’s quarters; Kylo’s personal space. He feels strangely vulnerable, as though he’s behind enemy lines without back-up.

“Like I said,” Kylo says, gesturing to a small mat on the floor surrounded by various cushions. “I was meditating.”

“Right.”

The pair stand in awkward silence for a few seconds, staring idly at each other. Hux feels like he’s being crushed underneath the intensity of Kylo’s dark gaze, though Hux finds his find drifting into an analysis of the colour of Kylo’s eyes; they aren’t light enough to be blue, he decides. To him and his monochrome vision, Kylo’s eyes look _almost_ black, so Hux supposes they’re either extremely dark green or brown. He wishes he could see…he so desperately wants to _see._

“Is there anything else you wanted, General? Or did you just want to disrupt my evening?”

Hux can’t help but scowl. Before he can say ‘ _no’_ and leave like he intended to do, his mouth kicks into gear and he’s asking a question that Hux had already decided he should keep to himself.

“Do you truly believe you _don’t_ have a soulmate?”

As soon as Hux has finished his question, Kylo averts his gaze to the floor.

“You don’t understand,” he says in a quiet tone, closing his robe completely and fastening the belt around his hips to hold it in place.

“You’re right, Ren. I don’t.” Hux takes an intimidating step forward, unsure of whether it's one of his natural instincts from his military training, meant to threaten his opponent, or whether he so desperately wants his body to be as close to Kylo’s as possible. “Somehow, Snoke has managed to convince you that your colour vision means nothing, that such a powerful Dark Side user such as yourself has no _need_ for a soulmate.” Hux straightens his back when Kylo looks up at him. “When actually, I think you’re the loneliest soul I’ve ever met--”

Hux’s words are cut off when he finds himself being pushed forcefully backwards by an invisible hand, his back hitting the wall with a heavy thud. He breathes heavily and blinks hard, feeling slightly winded by the sudden attack. Suddenly, Kylo’s body is against him, his strong forearm pressing against Hux’s neck, cutting off his air supply. Hux tries hard not to show any signs of discomfort, no signs that he’s convinced that Kylo-- _his soulmate_ \--is about to murder him.

“You don’t know anything about me,” Kylo growls through gritted teeth, “you know _nothing_ of the Supreme Leader and his teachings.” With each word, Kylo leans closer into Hux, until their noses are almost touching and Hux can feel Kylo’s warm breath against his lips. “And you _aren’t_ my soulmate, Hux. You are _not._ ”

Hux stares up at him, breathing heavily though his nose. He won’t show his fear and he certainly won’t show his desire for Kylo. Hux continues to hold Kylo’s gaze, and he notes that Kylo’s dark eyes drift downwards to stare rather intensely at Hux’s lips. His gaze lingers on them, watching as Hux rolls his tongue over his bottom lip, wetting it, making it shimmer in the low light. Kylo lowers his arm away from Hux’s throat, though his face stays in the same place, alarming close to Hux’s. The air between them is tense and as Kylo leans in to take Hux’s lips against his, Hux finds himself pressing his hand against Kylo’s strong shoulder, pushing him away.

“Don’t,” Hux says in a whisper, turning his head away. “I can’t.”

Hux should be seeing everything in bright colours right now; his soulmate is about to kiss him for the very first time. It’s the moment his mother had told him about, it’s the moment he’d been desperate to experience when he was younger, dreaming of having his soulmate hold him close and press his lips to Hux’s over and over again until the entire galaxy implodes. Colours should be bursting across his vision, setting his world ablaze with the most vivid hue he’s ever seen…but it isn’t. Everything is still black and white, still bland and empty. Kylo isn’t _feeling_ anything…his soulmate doesn’t want him.

With a startled expression, and rather surprisingly, Kylo does as Hux wants and he moves away, stepping back and creating a sizeable gap between them. Hux leans his head back against the wall, closing his eyes. He can’t do it; he can’t kiss the man who he’s supposed to share a soul bond with, only to be pushed away by the same man when the kiss is over.

“Get out,” Ren says, turning his back on Hux.

Hux doesn’t reply. He stares at the back of Kylo’s head for a couple of seconds, as though he’s waiting for his world to turn colourful. But the colour doesn’t come. There’s no Light, no hope. Hux is beginning to think that Kylo is right; Hux’s soulmate is truly dead.

//////////////////////////

As requested, the _Finalizer_ reaches Starkiller Base with extreme haste and Hux soon finds himself standing in the grand audience chamber with Snoke’s leering hologram towering over him. Kylo stands rigidly next to them, this being the first time that the two of them have been in the same room since the _incident_ yesterday. The audience chamber isn’t a particularly bright room anyway, but with the absence of his colour, Hux finds himself squinting to make out the holographic figure of Supreme Leader Snoke.

Hux’s mind is completely absent as Snoke drones on about the map to Skywalker and the possible uprising of a new Jedi Order. Most of Hux’s mental effort is focussed on _not_ looking at Kylo standing next to him. He’s got that ridiculous bucket back on his head, hiding his expression from the rest of the universe, hiding it from Hux. When they’d entered the chamber, Hux had been overly cautious; he hadn’t wanted to stand too close to the man who threatened to completely compromise him with even the notion of a simple kiss. He absently wonders whether Kylo has mentioned anything to the Supreme Leader about the revelation that he and Hux are soulmates. Hux supposes not, as he’s sure that Snoke, with his abrupt and discourteous manner, would have made a comment about such matters if he knew about them. Hux is even sure that there’s a possibility that Snoke would go as far as killing him if he knew that he and Kylo Ren are soulmates; seeing as soulmates are apparently a _call to the Light_ for Kylo, and Snoke clearly views this as a bad thing.

Hux stands still, looking up at the disfigured form of the Supreme Leader. His deformed face contorts into an angered expression as he talks of his disappointment at them losing the little BB-unit that carries the map to Skywalker. Out of the corner of his eye, Hux sees Kylo tense a little, as though he’s awaiting his punishment for losing the droid. A sudden protective feeling bolts across Hux’s mind and, before he’s processed his thoughts, he hears his own voice echoing across the chamber.

“Supreme Leader, I take full responsibility--”

“ _General!”_

Hux’s expression flinches from neutrality to frustration for a second as Snoke stands suddenly from his throne, glaring down at Hux. He doesn’t falter under Snoke’s cold gaze. Hux has stared down worse demons and won.

“The weapon,” Hux says, wanting to take more control of the situation, to show that Snoke’s rage is misplaced. “It is ready.”

Snoke approves Hux’s plans to target the Hosnian system first; the base of the New Republic. Hux had always wanted to wipe those treacherous politicians out first; it seems logical to him to cut the head off a beast to ensure its swift death. Snoke dismisses him from the audience chamber and Hux glances at Kylo before he leaves, trying to picture his youthful face beneath the mask.

//////////////////////////

“--And will remember this as the last day of the Republic!”

The organised crowd of Stormtroopers and officers raise their hands in support of Hux’s grand speech as he stands before them, surveying the monochrome scene. He gives the final order for Starkiller to fire and the bright beam is launched into the sky, shooting up with tremendous force. Hux stares at the _white_ beam with wild eyes, wishing he could see the true colour of his master weapon, of his legacy.

 //////////////////////////

Hux’s footfalls echo across the control room on Starkiller Base as the Resistance fighters descend on the oscillator, bombing it as hard as their pathetic X-wings can manage. The weapon is almost fully charged, ready to fire on the Resistance base that they’d tracked back to D’Qar. He knows time is of the essence; there have already been a couple of tremors as the enemy ships come closer to destroying Hux’s Starkiller project: all that he’d worked on for a significant portion of his First Order career.

He could go on cursing the meddling Resistance but a wave of colour suddenly takes over him, flashing brightly at the corners of his vision. It hasn’t been this strong and vivid since he’d first found Kylo destroying the Interrogation Chamber almost a year ago. He wavers on his feet, his knees threatening to buckle underneath the pressure of such raw, colourful emotion. Despite Hux knowing he should be overwhelmingly happy that his colour is back again and shining so radiantly, he knows that it means that something is terribly wrong with Kylo. The Knight is supposed to be dealing with a small ground assault on the oscillator, with one of the members being the escaped scavenger. But clearly, it hasn’t gone according to plan, and Kylo is feeling an intense call to the Light side, stronger than he’s felt in a long time.

Another tremor shakes the base, knocking a couple of Hux’s officers off their feet. There’s a loud explosion somewhere in the distance and Hux knows it means the fuel cells have ruptured. Before any of his subordinates can question him, Hux finds himself running to the audience chamber to seek orders from Snoke. Perhaps the Supreme Leader has felt a disturbance in Kylo’s mind and he could tell Hux what’s wrong with him. Hux runs into the chamber, noting the flickering blue hologram of Snoke as debris falls all around him.

“Leave the base at once and come to me with Kylo Ren. It is time to complete his training.”

Simple enough instructions on the surface of things, Hux thinks, though he has no clue where Kylo is, but something inside him is telling him that Kylo is in tremendous pain. Still, Hux hasn’t time to dwell on such instincts as time is running out. Starkiller Base is collapsing. He’s in the hangar with four Stormtroopers before he’s even properly processed the fact that a career’s worth of work is about to implode and be completely destroyed. He boards a shuttle and the pilot takes off, avoiding the falling debris in the hangar bay. Hux stands in the cockpit, looking out onto the fire and fury of Starkiller as the planet is preparing to collapse in on itself. There’s so much _red_ that Hux has to blink hard to stop himself being completely overwhelmed by the vividness of the colour in front of him. He has to find Kylo.

“There!” Hux says and points to a black figure lying worryingly still near a crevice in the ground.

The pilot lowers the shuttle behind some trees and, before the ramp has even lowered, Hux is leaping out and into the snow, trudging to Kylo’s side. When he gets close enough to Kylo, Hux’s breath hitches in his throat.

For the first time in his life, Hux wishes he _couldn’t_ see in colour. There’s too much blood, intense shades of deep crimson staining the crisp white snow.

The snow on Starkiller had been one of Hux’s favourite things about the base; it was brilliantly white, meaning that he didn’t have to subject himself to the pain of knowing he’s surrounded by amazing colours that he couldn’t perceive.

Kylo is unconscious, his pale complexion matching that of the snow. But his hair…his _black_ hair is a stark contrast to the white ground. Hux knew that Kylo’s hair was dark; that much was clear from his plain, monochrome vision. But with his colours back, Hux had been unable to comprehend the darkness of Kylo’s hair and the paleness of his skin, littered with little brown moles. The most alarming things about Kylo’s still form is the gaping, bleeding wound in his hip and the raw cut across the middle of his face. The latter was made by a lightsaber, Hux deduces from the way the mark is cauterised at its edges. His hands hover over Kylo’s body, unnerved at how he looks on the verge of death, though as long as Hux’s colour is still with him, he knows Kylo is alive without even having to feel for a pulse.

“General!”

Hux looks up to see the four Stormtroopers standing a few meters away from him, supposing that he looks a little odd staring intensely at Kylo’s face whilst the planet is collapsing. They approach him with a minimalistic stretcher, and Hux manages to hoist Kylo’s limp body onto the flimsy-looking contraption before the crevice opens up more, swallowing the ground they had been standing on moments ago. The Stormtroopers carry Kylo’s stretcher back to the shuttle, which manages to take off before the ground completely collapses.

Instead of looking out of the viewport at the red explosions engulf Starkiller Base, Hux kneels on the floor next to Kylo’s stretcher, his gaze never leaving Kylo’s still form, unnerved by the amount of bright red blood that’s dripping from the gaping wound in his side and onto the sleek grey floor of the shuttle. Hux attempts to press some thin bandaging to the wound in a futile attempt to cease some of the bleeding, watching as the droplets of crimson spread across the black material of his leather gloves.

Hux suddenly decides that red is no longer his favourite colour.

 //////////////////////////

Luckily for Ren, Hux had been alert enough to keep the _Finalizer_ within suitable reach of Starkiller Base, as Hux firmly believes that Kylo would have perished from his injuries if the star destroyer had been any further away than it is. Kylo’s eyes don’t open for the short journey back and Hux swears his skin is becoming paler by the second, though light moans of pain escape his lips every so often, reassuring Hux that he’s still responsive.

Once they dock in the ship’s hangar and the shuttle’s ramp lowers, a small team of medics rush onto the ship, making a quick assessment of Kylo’s condition. Hux steps back, watching over one of the medic’s shoulders to see them strapping an oxygen mask over Kylo’s nose and mouth. He doesn’t even flinch; Hux would rather he fought back against them, at least Hux would have known then that everything is alight and that Kylo is still his usual bad-tempered self. Instead, Kylo lies incredibly still as four of the medics lift the stretcher and carefully carry him down the ramp. Kylo is whisked off to the medical wing, leaving Hux standing idly in the hangar, internally conflicted about whether he should go with him. But his mind is a little distracted by the colour that is around him, radiant and vivid. He looks down at his hands, seeing bright blood staining his gloves and the tops of his sleeves. Before he can go to the medical wing, he needs to change his clothes, wanting urgently to get Kylo’s blood off his clothes and his skin.

He walks back to his quarters, finding that everything is as he left it before this fiasco happened, before he’d lost Starkiller. He removes his gloves first then tugs his jacket and shirt off, and goes into the fresher, feeling apprehensive to look up into the mirror to his reflection. He feels as though he’ll never get used to seeing his _green_ eyes and _red_ hair again, not after he hasn’t seen himself properly like this for 14 years, until Kylo came onto the scene. He washes the remnants of blood from his pale skin and dresses in clean uniform, smoothing down his hair in the process. As he bustles about his quarters, Hux looks up every so often to the red mug on his desk, ensuring that his colours are still with him and that Kylo is still alive. A wave of relief washes over him every time he sees the mug’s red sheen.

Hux’s comlink buzzes suddenly, startling him, and he picks it up, finding Lieutenant Mitaka on the other end of the frequency.

“Sir?” Mitaka’s voice is a little shaky. “Supreme Leader Snoke is requesting an update from you on the situation with Lord Ren. He asks that you contact him now. Sir.”

Hux is unable to refrain from sighing loudly. “Thank you for the message, Lieutenant. I’ll make the call from my office.”

“Very well, sir.”

Hux puts the comlink into his jacket pocket and looks back down on the desk, noting a little faded brown scuff mark on the desk from where he’d slammed the device back down with a heavy fist almost a year ago. He runs his ungloved fingers over it, noting that his colour hasn’t stayed around for this amount of time for a long while. He exits his quarters and walks along the corridors to his private office where he’d use the subspace transceiver to make a direct connection between him and the Supreme Leader. He closes the door and walks to his large desk, seeing that all his papers and schematics are still spread on its surface like he’d left them. He activates the transceiver and contacts Snoke.

“General, I wish to be updated on the status of your ship and of Kylo Ren.” Snoke’s voice sounds even deeper and more menacing through the transceiver channel.

With a deep breath, Hux begins to speak, exerting control over his tone of voice that threatens to become shaky.

“The _Finalizer_ is undamaged, Supreme Leader. Lord Ren is currently receiving extensive treatment for his wounds sustained in, what I presume to be, a lightsaber duel. He has not returned to consciousness yet.”

The last part is more of a haunch than fact, but Hux supposes that the medical wing would have contacted him if Kylo had come around.

“I see. I have orders for you and your ship, General. Bring Kylo Ren to me at once, regardless of his condition. He is aware of the location of my base. It is imperative that he is delivered to me as soon as possible.” Snoke’s voice becomes heavier, darker, and Hux can’t resist a shiver. “I do not expect to have any more setbacks.”

“Supreme Leader, with all due respect, Ren is gravely injured. I very much doubt he’s capable of movement, never mind training, and he may even require time in the bacta tank--”

“Did you misunderstand my orders, General?” Snoke’s dark voice interrupts Hux. Hux scowls again, being thankful that Snoke can’t see his angered expression this time.

“No, sir.”

“Good. You have your instructions. Do not fail me again. Or else.”

It’s seemingly more of a promise than a threat at the end of Snoke’s sentence, but Hux doesn’t think much of it. Snoke and his malicious intents have always felt slightly idle, as though he’s afraid to get his hands dirty, making Kylo do all of his dirty work. The frequency becomes static and Hux shuts off the transceiver with a heavy hand, irate at the Supreme Leader’s impatience. His comlink suddenly buzzes in his pocket and Hux curses, wanting just _five minutes_ of peace.

“What is it?” He asks sharply.

“General? This is Doctor Elnes. Lord Ren has woken from his treatment. He’s…he’s demanding that you see him, sir.”

Hux can hear the apologetic tone in the woman’s voice. He imagines that Kylo has been less than cooperative since he's woken up, obviously ordering the medical staff to get Hux to do what he wants.

“Fine,” he says with a roll of his eyes, “Inform him that I am on my way.”

Hux puts the device back into his pocket and begins the walk down to the medical wing. He would have gone to see Kylo anyway, though he admits that he’s not keen of the fact that it would seem as though he’s given in to Kylo’s demands. He’s nervous about seeing Kylo, as Hux can still perceive everything in bright colour. He knows what this means, he knows that Ren is being pulled _strongly_ to the Light. Whatever happened to Ren between the scavenger escaping and Hux finding him bleeding in the snow, Hux knows it can’t be good.

The medical wing is fairly busy with the injured officers who managed to escape from Starkiller. Medbay is bright, Hux notes, clinically clean and sterile. Medics bustle around patients in their white uniforms and blue gloves. A young male nurse with bright blond hair directs Hux to Kylo’s private room, seeing that it’s the one right at the end of the corridor, the one where none of the medics are going near. Pushing all thoughts of ‘ _he’s my soulmate’_ aside, Hux walks briskly into Kylo’s room, seeing the Knight sitting on the side of his bed, his body looking extremely worn. His head hangs down as he grips the side of the mattress tightly in his fists, his dark hair obscuring all of his face. He’s shirtless, with loose black pants on and various bandages wrapped around his abdomen. There’s a distinctly strong smell of bacta in the room, and Hux notes that Kylo has a particularly nasty wound peeking out from underneath bandages on his right shoulder, gleaming as though it’s been covered in the healing substance. Splatters of blood are beginning to come through the bandaging around his waist, and Hux supposes that he’ll need to be stitched up more than once for a wound that big.

“You look terrible,” Hux says, closing the door behind him, though he doesn’t step any closer to Kylo.

“What are the Supreme Leader’s wishes?” Kylo asks.

Hux scoffs, feeling slightly insulted that Ren hasn’t even looked up at him. “Unbelievable. You’re almost ripped in half, I find you bleeding out in the snow, I save your life, I lose the project I’ve been working relentlessly on for years and _that’s_ what you call me down here for? To ask what Snoke’s orders are?” Hux is trying his best not to shout, not wanting the medical staff to hear their conversation but he’s slowly losing his patience. “That old creature doesn’t care about you, Ren! He wants you to be delivered to him as soon as possible, he doesn’t _care_ that you could’ve died from blood loss. He doesn’t _care!_ So think of yourself for once in your goddamn life instead of following a blind leader who’s probably going to scrap you for parts once we reach him!”

There’s a sudden and alarming tightening around his throat that’s threatening to completely crush his airway. Kylo looks up slowly, his hair moving away from his face and falling back into place, covering his ears. The cut on his face will scar him, Hux thinks, bisecting his face from his forehead to the bottom of his right cheek. It’s still red, though the tissue around the edges looks healthier. Hux coughs as Kylo stands up, his hand outstretched, his fingers clenching tighter into a fist. His teeth are gritted together angrily, his dark gaze burrowing into Hux’s skull. He steps closer to Hux, but Hux’s doesn’t falter.

“Go on. Kill me,” Hux says in a calm but rough tone, his eyes ablaze. “If I die, maybe you’ll finally understand how terrible it is to see _everything_ in black and white…how _atrocious_ it is to lose your soulmate.”

As black spots begin to appear at the edges of his vision, Hux feels the pressure around his neck be released, disappearing suddenly. He gasps, his knees giving way as the air returns to him and he fills up his lungs with a big intake of breath. Kylo lowers his shaking hand, staring at it as though it isn’t his own. He stares down at Hux, who’s coughing violently, shuddering as his senses return to him. Hux feels Kylo suddenly kneel in front of him, placing his large hands on Hux’s thin arms and helping him to his feet. Hux wobbles a little, but Kylo’s hands stay where they are, anchoring him to the ground. He looks up, finding Kylo staring at him with a hint of concern in his eyes. Hux stares back at him, unblinking.

“I’m sorry,” Kylo says, shaking his head and gingerly moving his hand up to graze against Hux’s neck. “I shouldn’t have done that…I shouldn’t have hurt you. You’re my sou--”

But Kylo’s sentence trails off and he looks away from Hux, and Hux can see how much he’s being torn apart by all of this; desiring to _have_ a soulmate but his twisted master telling him to suppress such nonsensical desires and concentrate on utilising _only_ the Dark Side for his power.

“I would’ve thought a man of your military background has seen facial wounds before,” Kylo says with a frown when he notes that Hux is staring intensely at him.

“I…I’m not looking at your wound,” Hux replies. “Your eyes are _brown_.”

When Kylo leans in to kiss him this time, Hux doesn’t stop him. He tilts his chin up into the kiss, feeling his mind explode into colourful fireworks, painting their way across his entire consciousness like a vibrant kaleidoscope. He hadn’t expected his first kiss with his soulmate to be after they’d attempted to strangle the life out of him, but Hux will take it. Something has changed within Kylo; it’s as though the Light that he feels has somehow embedded itself more deeply inside of him and it only growing brighter as he pulls Hux closer to him. Kylo’s hands slide down Hux’s arms to hold his hips, and Hux feels something _click_ inside of him, as though the last puzzle piece has been found and completed the picture. Kylo pulls away from the kiss first. Hux opens his eyes to see that the world is brighter than it’s ever been. Kylo is _radiant;_ his dark eyes are on fire, obviously feeling the same vibrant explosions in his mind that Hux is.

Hux never wants these colours to go, and he has a small inclination that they won’t. But as Kylo runs his hand through Hux’s red hair, an eerily sinister thought crosses Hux’s mind.

_What will Snoke think of them?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just love foreshadowing, don't you? ;)
> 
>  
> 
> Thanks for reading!  
> My tumblr is also [here.](http://solohux.tumblr.com/)


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fuck, it's been a while since I updated! But this is by far the longest chapter yet so hopefully that makes up for it?  
> I hope you enjoy!
> 
> And I apologise in advance for all the hurt that you're about to read. Prepare yourself.

Kylo’s frequent and angered protests at being kept in the medical wing are eventually successful, and the doctors discharge him back to his quarters with strict orders to rest. Hux watches in slight awe as Kylo’s dark eyes light up when one of the medics enters the room and informs him of their decision to allow him to leave. He looks like a child being told he’s allowed to have sweets before dinner, Hux thinks as he stands against the opposite wall, overseeing Kylo dressing himself back in his old and bloodied robes.

“You don’t think they should be discharging me,” Kylo states, sitting back down on the bed to pull his boots on. He grits his teeth as he leans forward, obviously feeling sharp pains from putting too much pressure on his hip wound.

“You’re right. I think you should be resting here where the _professionals_ can keep a close watch on you,” Hux replies, his arms folded over his chest, though he admits to himself that his mind is rather occupied with a different matter than Kylo’s childish desire to prove that he can take care of himself.

For the first time since he was a teenager, Hux’s world shines with the brightest and richest colour possible, illuminating everything around him in a brilliant hue. The most comforting thing about this, he thinks, is that he knows Kylo is seeing the same. He distinctly remembers that, as a young child, he’d been excited to think that his soulmate could see the world as colourfully as he could and, rather embarrassingly, he adds, Hux feels _almost_ excited now at the same prospect, though he doesn’t allow it to show. After 34 years of waiting, Hux can now look into the eyes of the one who is made to match his soul, but he privately admits that it may take some getting used to. After all, he and Kylo haven’t had much of a relationship; professional or otherwise. In fact, Hux would go as far to say that they previously _disliked_ each other, irritating each other with their mere presences. But Hux has already noticed that Kylo looks at him differently now, after their kiss…after Kylo had almost strangled Hux to death. Kylo’s stare isn’t as harsh, isn’t as invading. Instead, it’s turned softer, a glint of gentle admiration in his brown eyes every time he makes eye-contact with Hux. And Hux can’t help but return the tender stare.

They walk closely to one another down the quiet corridors of the _Finalizer_ back to Kylo’s quarters where Hux is going to make sure that the injured Knight obeys the medic’s orders to rest. They arrive and Kylo opens the door, gesturing with his head for Hux to enter first. Hux isn’t sure whether Kylo is being genuinely polite or whether he’s just mocking him but Hux walks through the door first, feeling Kylo follow close behind him.

Hux finds himself staring at the assorted items on one of the shelves mounted on the far wall, recalling that he’d seen them the last time he was in Kylo’s quarters, but he hadn’t been able to see their colours. They’d just been grey. He steps closer to the shelf, inspecting the random collection closely, wondering what their uses could possibly be. There’s a bright blue stone that’s seemingly glowing, a round bottle with red liquid inside, a pink flower preserved between two pieces of glass, a long, dark purple feather and a yellow, swirled seashell. Hux picks up the little round bottle, and looks closely at it. The liquid sloshes around behind the glass as Hux turns it in his palm.

“Put it back,” Kylo says in a harsh tone.

“I’m only looking at it,” Hux replies, making no move to place the bottle back in its place. “Calm down.”

“Then look with your eyes, not with your hands.”

Hux rolls his eyes. “What _is_ all of this stuff?

“Nothing. They’re just for decoration. _Put it back.”_

With a frown, Hux does at Kylo asks and puts the little, round bottle back up onto the shelf, nudging it slightly until it’s in the exact same position he’d picked it up from. They stand in silence for a few moments as Kylo disrobes, leaving his trousers on, and moving to grab a plain black shirt from the floor near his meditation mat. He leaves his bloodied robe in the middle of the floor along with his boots. Hux resists the urge to chastise him for leaving clothes scattered untidily across the floor.

“Well,” Hux begins, “into bed. You have to lie down for the remainder of the night, Ren. Those were your orders.”

Kylo raises his eyebrows, absently rubbing the wound on his right shoulder.

“You haven’t _actually_ got any authority over me, Hux. I don’t hold military rank,” he says with a slight smirk on his lips as he walks over to the bed, sitting down on the edge. Hux watches him carefully. “I don’t have to listen to your orders, despite you being my soul--”

Kylo stops himself before he can finish his sentence, clamping his mouth shut. He looks down, his hair falling in his face, his shoulders sagging as he sighs. Hux feels a sinking sensation in his chest.

“Why won’t you say it?” Hux asks, frowning, taking a step closer to Kylo. “Why won’t you say that we’re _soulmates?_ ”

Kylo doesn’t look up, not even when Hux sits down on the bed next to him, their hips mere inches apart. Hux can still smell bacta lingering on Kylo’s skin, and Hux absently wonders whether he should even be awake, whether he should’ve had time in the bacta tank to aid his grievous wounds. Hux tips his head forward slightly, trying to see through a small gap in Kylo’s dark hair to look at his face. 

“If I say it,” Kylo says, tilting his head back to fully look into Hux’s green eyes, “then it’ll be real.”

Hux frowns, though slightly amazed at Kylo’s ability to consistently speak in enigmatic sentences.

“It’s already real. _You_ felt it when you met me, and _I_ felt it when you first had one of your… _outbursts,”_ Hux says, refraining from using the word ‘tantrum’, though he supposes the latter is a more accurate term to describe Kylo’s destructive behaviour. “I don’t understand why you can’t just _say it.”_

“Because _he_ can’t find out,” Kylo answers abruptly.

“Snoke?”

Kylo nods, sitting up slightly. “He thinks soulmates are a ridiculous thing, that they only exist to hold you back. Ever since he first started guiding me, he told me to ignore the colours. _Pretend_ everything is black and white just so I don’t fall to the weakness of the Light. He told me that I don’t _have_ a soulmate. Ben Solo did but…he’s gone.”

Hux knows the Kylo’s last statement isn’t entirely true, otherwise he wouldn’t presently be seeing everything in colour. But Hux supposes this is probably irrelevant; whether Ben Solo is dead or not, Kylo Ren is his soulmate, the one who Hux will always be drawn to. 

“So if Snoke were to find out that you and I are soulmates, you’re worried that he’s going to harm you in some way?”

Kylo shakes his head. “No. I’m worried he’d harm _you_ in some way _._ Kill you, even. To try and stamp out the Light inside me…to permanently get rid of the colour.”

Hux straightens his back and sighs. He should’ve guessed that the Supreme Leader absolutely wouldn’t approve of the two of them being soulmates, though Hux supposes Snoke wouldn’t have guessed that Kylo-- _Ben--_ would be bonded to his ruthless and calculated General. Ironically, Hux thinks, Snoke is the one who brought them together, the one who allowed them to find each other.

“But I see that you are no longer denying that we _are_ soulmates,” Hux says with a slight smirk, attempting to lighten the mood, to steer away from the topic of his potential death.

But Kylo’s expression doesn’t change. He doesn’t smirk and he doesn’t smile.

“How _can_ I deny it?” He says, and Hux isn’t sure whether he’s genuinely frustrated or not. “I’ve meditated _countless_ times to try and get you _out_ of my head. But I can’t. You’re _there_. Constantly.” Kylo lays his palm over his chest. “I can _feel_ it. The soul bond, the Light. It yearns for me to be near you but I _can’t._ The Dark Side won’t allow it, it pulls me away--”

Kylo abruptly stops mid-sentence when he feels Hux’s hand covers his own, holding on tightly in a comforting gesture. Hux doesn’t say anything, he only stares at Kylo with warm, green eyes. Kylo has been on the receiving end of one of Hux’s infamously cold glares in the past and, even when he’d first met Hux and his vision had exploded into a vibrant hue, he hadn’t thought that Hux’s eyes were particularly warm. His green irises were almost vacant, _almost_ sorrowful but their brightness is what had mattered to Kylo at the time. He drops his gaze down a little to Hux’s lips and, as though he’s read his mind, Hux leans in, pressing his lips to Kylo’s in a gentle kiss. The colours explode in their minds as they had done the first time they’d kissed, and Hux finds himself wondering whether this show of vibrant fireworks will occur each time he kisses Kylo.

“It’s their colour,” Kylo says calmly between kisses.

Hux pulls back, frowning intensely. “What _are_ you talking about, Ren?”

“The things on the shelf.” Kylo looks over to where his odd collection of items are mounted on the wall. “They’re…what I’ve brought back from missions. Because of their colour.”

Hux glances over to look at the shelf, seeing that the items have a glowing hue about their presence and feeling that they’re no longer useless, random items knowing that Kylo hand-picked every one because of how much he liked their individual colours. The colours he can see because of Hux’s existence.

“I hadn’t put you down as the sentimental type, Ren,” Hux says, imagining a scene in his mind where Kylo is on a dangerous mission on a rogue planetoid, wearing his intimidating mask and clutching his unstable lightsaber, only to stop to pick up a delicate, purple feather from the ground because of how radiant he finds it. Absently, Hux recalls the way that he had admired the field of red flowers on his home planet, not for their shape or their function, but for their brilliant shine; warm and comforting.  

Perhaps he and Ren are more alike than Hux had originally believed.

///////////////////////

Whilst on-shift on the bridge the next morning, Hux is informed that the _Finalizer_ will reach Snoke’s base in the Unknown Regions within the next 24 hours. He thanks the navigators for their update and he returns to pacing the length of the bridge, his hands clasped behind his back as he walks. 24 hours left before he and Kylo would be forcibly separated by the Supreme Leader. Hux will cope; he supposes he’ll have no other choice, but things have drastically changed between him and Kylo, and changed for the better. He actually _feels_ as though they’re soulmates now, rather than just two people who are being forced to be civil with one another despite knowing that they are made for one another.

When his shift finishes, Hux finds himself walking to Kylo’s quarters instead of his own, expecting to find that the Knight has disobeyed his medical orders and been rigorously sparring in the training rooms all day. But when Hux arrives at Kylo’s door, it swishes open before he has the chance to knock, revealing Kylo standing before him in his meditation attire.

“Let me guess,” Hux says sarcastically, folding his arms over his chest and dipping one of his hips, “did you hear my _loud mind_ approaching?”

Kylo seemingly falters for a moment but then he shakes his head, placing the tip of his forefinger in the centre of his chest. “The soul bond gets brighter when you’re closer.”

He drops his hand and gestures for Hux to enter and, with a slightly startled expression, Hux walks into Kylo’s quarters, taking a careful moment to appreciate the section of Kylo’s chest that’s on show between the opening of his silk meditation robe.

“You’re supposed to be resting,” Hux says when he notices that Kylo’s bed doesn’t look as though it’s been slept in. It’s in the same tidy state as it was when Hux had left Kylo’s quarters late the previous night. Hux absently supposes that it’s possible that Kylo _has_ slept in his bed and then proceeded to neaten it once he’d risen, but Hux brushes the hypothesis away quickly when he remembers who he’s thinking about. ‘Organise’ isn’t in Kylo’s vocabulary, of this Hux is absolutely certain.

“Meditation isn’t strenuous, Hux. I’m not going to tear my wounds open by sitting on the floor,” Kylo says, taking a few steady strides towards Hux, closing the gap between them.

Before Hux can muster up a sarcastic reply, Kylo’s hand slips around his waist and he leans down a little, pressing his lips to Hux’s in a gentle kiss. Hux leans in, reaching his hand up to press his palm against the bare skin of Kylo’s warm chest. The colours radiate inside Hux's mind, melting together in soothing sequences of blues, greens and violets, creating a wave of calmness across his consciousness. It’s almost overwhelming, but it’s by far the greatest thing Hux has ever felt. He’s almost forgotten what it’s like to see things in black and white; his colours-- _Kylo’s_ colours _\--_ are so radiant that it’s difficult for him to imagine the time before he could see all of this magnificent spectrum of sheer brilliance.

With their lips still locked, Kylo pushes Hux back towards the bed and they sit down together, Hux skims his hand down Kylo's torso to rest on his thigh. Kylo grazes his thumb over Hux’s left hand, trailing his touch over the soft bumps of his knuckles. He frowns, breaks the kiss and looks down, seeing a slightly raised scar on Hux’s hand, running from the base of his forefinger to his ring finger, just below his knuckles. Kylo rubs his thumb over the mark.

“I wouldn’t have thought you’d be the type of man to have scars,” Kylo says, obviously presuming that Hux has spent most of his life behind a desk, scheming rather than fighting, sticking to statistical analysis rather than any sort of hard, physical combat that would result in scarring.

“It’s from a brawl I had whilst I was still at the Academy,” Hux says, looking down at the little scar, reminiscing of how he’d acquired it. “I was 17. Knocked two of the lad’s teeth clean out of his mouth with one punch. Though you can imagine that his friends weren’t impressed. Nor was my father. I was dismissed from my classes early that day, to go home and think about the consequences of my actions. Apparently that’s not how the son of a Commandant behaves.”

Hux looks up at Kylo, seeing that he’s in slight astonishment at Hux’s small tale.

“What did he do to provoke you?” Kylo asks, seemingly intrigued.

Hux shrugs. “I don’t recall. I had plenty of fights during my time at the Academy. They all blur into one, really.”

But that's a lie. Hux remembers. He remembers all of his fights; who they were with, why he _wanted_ to hurt them and the damage he’d caused and received from them. He doesn't have many scars but this one, he admires, for the very simple reason that the boy had it coming. He looks down at the scar, remembering this fight particularly clearly; he’d been walking down the corridor to his Imperial History class when the boy in question had begun taunting him about Hux’s colour is fading from his world. How the boy came to know such personal information, Hux still doesn’t know to this day. Hux’s father had been incredibly insistent that he was to ignore any insults from his peers that concern his soulmate, but when the blond-haired boy had begun taunting that he _hoped_ Hux’s soulmate dies the most painful and slowest death in the history of the Galaxy, Hux hadn’t been able to keep his anger suppressed. Despite his fading colour, Hux’s vision flashed with red, though he supposes that may have been a result of the blood and not the colour of his rage.

Kylo’s hand is suddenly cupping Hux’s cheek, forcing Hux’s gaze upwards and away from his memories. Instead of seeing the wildness in Kylo’s eyes like he normally does, Hux sees an overwhelming sadness, as though Kylo is on the brink of tears. Before Hux can question him, Kylo pulls him closer for a kiss. Hux parts his lips as the colours burst in his mind, feeling Kylo kiss him desperately, his hand slipping around to hold Hux’s head, pushing them closer. Hux can’t concentrate on anything else but Kylo’s presence, both physically and inside his colourful mind. There’s a lot more of an intensity to this kiss, and the colours in Hux’s mind detonate like fireworks in patterns of reds and oranges, burning like the fire he can feel in his veins. _This_ is how he’d imagined it would be when his mother had described the feeling to him when he was 10 years old; when he was nothing more than a bright-eyed little boy, amazed by the wonders of the Galaxy, who wanted nothing more than to meet the one who was made especially for him. Though illogical, he wishes he could somehow travel back in time to meet his younger self, perhaps when he was 19, just after his colours had completely left him, just to tell himself to _hold on_ ; that living without colours for 14 years will be gut-wrenching, but it'll drive him to achieve more, and the wait will be worth it, the _colours_ will be worth it.

But without warning, Kylo pulls his lips away from Hux’s, unknitting his hand from Hux’s hair in an extremely abrupt manner, taking the vibrant fireworks away from Hux too. Hux frowns, scanning Kylo's expression for an explanation to why he's suddenly so rough.

“I can’t do this,” Kylo says with a slight shake of his head as he stands up from the bed, running his hands though his hair.

Hux's mouth falls marginally agape in confusion, feeling like he’s rooted to the edge of the bed, his limbs locked in place as he watches Kylo begin to pace around in a circle, his breathing increasing unevenly. Hux has seen Kylo in distress before; he's familiar with the way his soulmate's body tenses in certain places when he's in discomfort. Hux's gaze scans Kylo's form, noting that his body is stiffening in exactly the same way as when he's allowing his rage to consume him.

“Do _what?_ ” Hux asks, afraid of what the answer is going to be.

“ _This,_ ” Kylo replies, gesturing to the two of them. “ _This_ isn’t what I’ve been trained for. This isn’t my destiny. Sitting here, with _you,_ drowning in the colours and being pulled apart at the seams. I can't do it, Hux. The Supreme Leader was right…soulmates are a hindrance.” Kylo’s pacing ceases abruptly, his body half-turned to Hux. His expression is one of anger, with his teeth gritted and his eyebrows drawn together in a frown. “I…have to suppress the Light if I’m going to be as strong as Vader,” he says, his tone dark and almost unrecognisable to Hux’s ears. “I _must_ serve the Supreme Leader.”

“No…” Hux whispers, finally managing to find the strength to stand but his legs are shaking too much for him to take a step closer to Kylo without the risk of collapsing weakly onto his knees. Hux doesn't understand; Kylo must have felt the same colours as Hux when they'd kissed. Is Kylo in  _that_ much pain that he feels as though he has to push Hux away to feel strong? Hux stares at Kylo’s face, as though he’s waiting for him to say something else, but Hux’s gaze is suddenly drawn just slightly to the left of the Knight, to Kylo’s assortment of multicoloured souvenirs on the shelf.

His colours. They’re _fading_.

“No, Ren…don’t…”

Hux feels his world beginning to crumble around him, as though every happy and bright thought he’s ever had has been tainted, ruined, _lost._ For potentially the first time in his life, Hux finds himself _without_ words, unable to find any sound that can adequately express the agony that’s consuming him, wiping his mind back into tame monochrome. The vivid and radiant colours that have surrounded him for the last glorious few days are draining, turning everything back to the dull and ashen shades of _bland_ grey that he’s become so familiar with in his recent life. The slowly draining colour is worse this time, he thinks. Previously, when he’d stood in front of his field of favourite red flowers when he was 19 years old, Hux had believed that his soulmate was truly dying, being  _forcefully_ taken away from him, an occurance that nobody in the galaxy could prevent. But now, Hux knows that his soulmate is doing this _purposefully_ for his own gain. Kylo desperately wants to be one with the Dark Side, and clearly he’s even going to step on his own soulmate to get the power he desires. Hux's frightened gaze scans the room, unbelieving that his world is being plunged back into the clouded nothingness that’s caused him so much despair in the past.

 _This isn’t fair,_ Hux thinks, _this isn’t **fair.**_

He turns his gaze back up at Kylo, who’s standing still with his eyes closed, his fists clenched furiously at his sides, his shoulders tense in the same manner, clearly concentrating incredibly hard to eliminate the Light that so obviously is tearing him apart.

“Kylo, _please_ ,” Hux says, outstretching his hand towards Kylo, his voice trembling as he watches the final droplets of colour fade, leaving him barren and hollow, despite standing opposite his soulmate; the one who has the power to make Hux’s mind and world detonate into the most radiant colour imaginable. Hux's extended hand shakes as he reaches for out Kylo, begging him to stop, to come back to him. But Kylo doesn’t look at him. He opens his eyes slowly and immediately turns away from Hux, picking his outer robe and cowl up from the floor. His movements are rigid as he dresses himself, as though he’s in some sort of discomfort, but Hux doesn’t dwell on it. He’s too busy mourning everything _good_ he’s ever had.  

“Goodbye, General.” Kylo’s tone is cold, emotionless, and perfectly matches the world Hux now sees; devoid of colour. He walks out of his quarters, leaving Hux completely alone in the grey room.

Hux lowers his shaking hand back to his side and staggers backwards until the backs of his knees hit Kylo’s bed and he lowers himself down slowly, sitting on the edge. Hux sits completely still on the bed, not wanting to believe that Kylo has abandoned him. His eyes are wide as he stares blankly into the bland nothingness around him, his chest feeling completely hollow. Everything is the shade of grey that he’s come to _hate,_ the shade of grey that he so heavily associates with being cold and alone. His chest feels strangely empty, as though something has been ripped away from him, leaving a dark void in its place.

He presses the heels of his hands into his temples as the tears finally begin to stream down his cheeks. He feels like a young boy again, when he’d drifted home after his colour had faded, and his mother had held him and apologised to him over and over again for such a tragic thing happening to him. But this time, his mother isn’t here to comfort him. No one is.

Hux is truly alone.

////////////////////////////////

The ache in Kylo’s chest is unlike anything he’s ever felt before. There’s an incredible pain in the back of his head too, an overwhelming guilt for what he’s just done to Hux. He walks boldly down the corridors of the _Finalizer,_ his fists clenched by his sides, his entire body feeling heavier as a result of him purely drawing from the Dark Side, putting a barricade on the Light's influence on him. Everything is duller, muted, _darker._

 _It’s better this way,_ he thinks, pulling his robe tighter around himself, _for Hux to lose his colour than to lose his life._

Snoke would have been able to sense their soul bond the moment they find themselves in his presence if they had carried on like that; strengthening their connection with each kiss and every touch. The Light would have consumed him, _Hux’s light,_ and the colours would have been incredible but Kylo has known since he fell to the Dark Side that he could never truly have anything good in his life. He knows that suppressing the Light will, hopefully, quash his and Hux’s soul bond to the degree where Snoke won’t be able to sense that Hux is his soulmate; that Hux is the one person who Kylo desires to be with more than anything. Though he hasn’t accepted this truth for very long, Kylo can already feel himself being pulled towards Hux in every way possible, wanting to be near him, to hold him and to _protect_ him.

And Snoke will take Hux away from him if he finds out.

Hux is Kylo’s colour, his light, the one who the Galaxy created just for him, to complete him. He remembers feeling enamoured by the concept when he was younger, when he still called himself _Ben_. Having someone who is made from the same cut of stars as he is had comforted Ben in ways that his absent parents never could, despite Snoke telling him otherwise. Hux is practically the absolute opposite to him; orderly, organised and bright. He couldn’t live with himself if he’d allow himself to completely fall for Hux, just for Snoke to sense it all and kill Hux before his eyes.

It was yesterday night when Hux had left Kylo’s quarters, when Kylo realised that this couldn’t go on. Things were becoming too radiant and too vibrant _much_ too quickly for Kylo to control. Listening to Hux talk about his scars had been the final push that Kylo needed to make his final decision to sever what he could of their bond. Imagining Hux fighting and _bleeding_ had been too much for Kylo to bear; the image of Hux attempting to fight against Snoke but ending up lying in a pool of his own blood had been too strong. Kylo won't allow that to happen. Cutting Hux's colour away from him is necessary for Hux's own good, Kylo tells himself. Hux has suddenly become the centre of his universe; the beacon in his mind and in his chest that shines brightly and brings him closer to the Light. Snoke wouldn’t approve. Kylo remembers the way his master had poisoned the thoughts that his mother had told him about soulmates when he'd first become the Supreme Leader's new apprentice.

_But she told me that my soulmate guides me to what’s important, that I should never stop looking for them because they’re the other half of my soul. They make me stronger...I can feel it.  
_

_She lied to you, boy. They all have. Soulmates are nothing but a hindrance, and so are your colours. But fear not, with my training, you will learn to detach yourself from such weaknesses.  
_

After years of manipulation and retraining, Kylo remembers that Snoke had been overwhelmingly pleased when he had finally uttered the words ‘ _I do not have a soulmate’_ in a hypnotic and bland tone. Kylo had believed it for a long time too, before he walked straight into Hux’s path and his world exploded into the colour that he remembers he loved so much when he was younger…the colours that Ben loved.

After deciding that Snoke could never find out about his and Hux’s soul bond, Kylo knew that lying to Hux would be the worst past; that convincing Hux that Kylo wanted nothing else to do with him would cause both of them unimaginable pain. Standing in Hux’s presence whilst he allowed the Dark Side to fill his entire consciousness would be _agony_. And it was. He knows that Hux must have seen and felt every single droplet of colour drain from around him, all because of what Kylo was doing. And then he’d heard Hux call out to him, begging him _please_ don’t do this. And Kylo had to ignore his pleas for his act to be truly successful. He'd walked out on Hux when he needed Kylo the _most_ , leaving Hux cold and alone, devoid of colour like he had been before when Kylo had done the exact same thing when he was 15 years old.

Kylo continues walking along the corridors, never stopping and with no clue as to where he’s walking to. As long as he’s keep walking _away_ from Hux, it doesn’t matter where he’s going. He just can’t go _back_. Pulling his hood up over his head and settling it over his brow to hide his sorrowful expression, Kylo sincerely hopes that Hux will understand. He hopes that Hux can, one day, forgive him.

////////////////////////////////

Hux doesn’t sleep that night. After he trudges back to his quarters as though he’s in some sort of trance, he sits awake at his desk, watching as the bottle of brandy disappears as the night drags on slowly. He sits back in his chair, his feet resting on the top of his desk as he knocks back another glass, feeling it burn in his throat.

The burn is good, he notes. It distracts him from thinking of Kylo Ren.

He stares idly at the bottle, watching the liquid slosh inside, recalling how it should be a pleasant golden brown colour instead of the empty grey that it currently is. He grits his teeth and, with an angry grunt, he pushes the bottle off the desk, satisfied by the smashing sound it makes when it hits the floor. Pushing his chair back, Hux stands up from the desk, taking sudden notice of the mug that sits on the corner of the desk; the mug that has a red sheen to its coating, _had_ a red sheen. Not anymore. Before he can comprehend his actions, the mug is suddenly in his hand and it's being hurled at the far wall, its ceramic pieces scattering across the floor. Hux exhales through gritted teeth. If he has to destroy everything that once held colour then so be it. Why should he be the one to lose _everything?_ First his colours and his soulmate when he was 19, then his mother--.

Hux stops himself. He can’t permit himself to think of his mother for the risk of becoming emotionally compromised. She had passed away whilst he was away on a mission when he was a mere Captain, aiding the growing of the First Order, too caught up in his work to answer her calls. Despite his father’s wealth and his own power, nothing could have saved his mother from illness once it took hold. She hadn’t been the same when he’d lost his colours anyway; she was too protective, wanted to keep him wrapped up in his favourite childhood blanket and keep him safe from other harms, prevent anything else from happening to her little boy. Hux had _almost_ been grateful when she would consciously make an effort _not_ to talk about how _red_ the flowers are or how _green_ the trees are. For a brief period, Hux is even sure she stopped wearing her favourite red lipstick, as though putting it on became redundant because _Hux couldn’t see it._ But she’d slip up every so often and Hux would be consumed with the agony all over again, almost resenting his own mother for being able to see colours when he couldn’t.

Still. He’s become his father’s son as a result. Cold, calculated, _colourless._

The chronometer on Hux’s bedside table begins to beep loudly, indicating that the departure to Snoke’s base is within the hour. Hux sighs, striding across the room to turn the alarm off. He walks into his ‘fresher, making a huge effort to not catch his reflection in the mirror, knowing that seeing his grey appearance would push him past his limit. After washing himself quickly, Hux adorns fresh and clean uniform, pulling his boots back on with tired hands. Without the aid of a mirror, Hux attempts to smooth his hair down to an acceptable standard. His duty to the Order comes first; before his emotional baggage, before his feelings for Kylo Ren.

Or so he tells himself.

The walk down to the hangar is long, though Hux is sure that his mind won’t allow his body to move any faster. He knows that Kylo is going to be waiting for him and he no longer has the helmet to hide his face. Hux is going to have to look at him, see his colourless eyes and _not_ think about how brown they are in reality. Hux swallows hard, pushing such thoughts away. He’s sure Kylo hasn’t even spared him a single thought over the last 12 hours, when Kylo is all Hux has thought about.

The Knight is standing next to his command shuttle in the hangar when Hux enters. Kylo looks well; there aren't any dark circles under his eyes and his posture is as rigid as it was when Hux had first met him. Truly, he's one with the Dark Side. He stands with his arms folded across his strong chest, wearing clean robes, the deep gash on across his face still in need of more time to heal. Hux doesn’t allow his gaze to linger on Kylo’s body for too long. This man means nothing to him…

“General,” Kylo says in a completely emotionless tone, as though he’s speaking to a lowly droid.

“Lord Ren,” Hux replies, trying to mimic his timbre.

“The Supreme Leader has requested that only the two of us meet with him for a personal audience,” Kylo says, stepping onto the shuttle and Hux follows a few steps behind him, not wanting to get too close.

“I expected nothing less,” Hux says.

He sits down in the passenger seat of the shuttle whilst Kylo takes his place in the pilot’s. Having both Skywalker _and_ Solo heritage, Hux supposes that Kylo is an extremely talented pilot, and he wonders whether Han Solo taught Ben--. Hux digs his nails into his palm, pushing hard through his gloves to stop such ridiculous thoughts. Closing his eyes for a few seconds, Hux exhales slowly through his nose.

 _Stay focussed,_ he tells himself. Y _ou’re alone again. You don’t have a soulmate. Don’t think about him._

He opens his eyes, seeing their shuttle leaving the hangar of the _Finazlier_ and travelling towards a small planetoid. Hux has no idea what the terrain will be like, seeing as he’s unable to see the planet’s true colour, though it's a darker shade of grey to Hux, meaning it's unlikely to be a desert planet, but realistically, Hux has no idea. The shuttle descends quickly and Hux’s eyes scan their new environment so he can attempt to deduce what Snoke’s base will be like. Most of the planet seems to be made of rock; cliffs and gorges, bumpy and uninhabitable from the looks of things. They fly over a tall, mountainous region and Kylo lands the shuttle at its base as a light drizzle begins to fall, tiny droplets gracing the window of the viewport. As soon as the shuttle has landed, Kylo stands from his seat and lowers the ramp, as though he’s been desperate to get away from Hux’s presence for the duration of their short journey. Hux exhales sharply through his nose as he follows Kylo out of the shuttle, amazed as his resilience against Hux, against his _soulmate_. But Hux supposes he shouldn't expect anything less from a man who is as emotionless and as _heartless_ as Kylo Ren.

Hux stares up in awe at the view in front of him, albeit in dull monochrome; carved into the face of the mountain are grand patterns of triangles surrounding a large, rounded doorway, completely open for anyone to waltz in at their own will. Though Hux supposes that it’s very well hidden, camouflaged into the rocks so it’s very unlikely that someone would stumble upon it and _then_ choose to enter through its dark doorway. There isn’t even a staircase and Hux scowls at the thought of having to scale up the rocks to get inside. He'd enjoyed the physical education classes at the Academy for a short period of time but he soon learned that a better use of his time would be to engage with books and _knowledge_ rather than running tediously around a field with no real goal. Hux looks back at the mountain side, noting that there are a few scattered boulders at the bottom, with ledges and overhangs so he supposes he shouldn’t have too much trouble trying to climb up to where the doorway sits about 10ft from the ground. He glances over at Kylo, who’s staring up at the intricate carvings.

“It’s a tomb,” he says as he begins to walk forward towards the rock face, “or rather, it _was._ Before the Supreme Leader found it and excavated it into his own hideout.”

Hux doesn’t reply, knowing that the less he engages in conversation with Kylo, the easier his pain will be. Instead, he steps carefully towards the rock face, watching Kylo carefully as the Knight begins to climb with ease, stepping up onto ledges and heaving himself up without any problems, despite his numerous wounds that still need time to properly heal. Hux catches Kylo looking over his shoulder at him and Hux immediately looks away before they make any harmful eye-contact. Hux doesn’t want to see Kylo’s grey eyes. Hux begins to climb, trying to step exactly where Kylo did  to ensure that he won’t stand on any lose rocks. He reaches the top with relative ease and no slips, finding that Kylo has already walked through the dark doorway and into Snoke’s hidden base without him. _Unsurprising,_ Hux thinks.

But Hux finds himself jogging to get back to Kylo’s side, feeling slightly unnerved at being alone in such a dismal place with two incredibly powerful Force users, almost as though he's _outnumbered,_ as though the three of them aren't all fighting for the same cause. The corridor is damp, only lit by flickering torches mounted on the rocky walls. Their footfalls echo as they walk past many diverging passageways but Kylo seems to know where he’s going, leading them deeper into the mountain. Hux walks a few paces behind Kylo, staring idly at the back of his head but when Kylo halts suddenly in front of a solid wall, Hux nearly smacks into the back of him.

“Do _not_ tell me that you’re lost,” Hux says, noting how Kylo is staring rather vacantly up at the wall.

He gets a sarcastic look in response as Kylo holds his hands up, moving them apart slowly in a sweeping gesture. There’s a rumbling sound suddenly and the wall draws back, splitting into two and retreating away to the sides, and Hux has to make a conscious effort to prevent his jaw from dropping. The sudden change in appearance is astounding, as it’s as though they’re suddenly on board a star destroyer rather than inside a dark and muggy cave inside a mountain. The walls and floors of the long corridor are panelled, with various electronic consoles dotted around on the walls. Hux finds it oddly comforting, as though this is the _Finalizer_ he’s on and not alone in Snoke’s base. At the end of the corridor, Hux can see a grand archway, leading into a huge open room. Kylo strides forward towards the archway and Hux hesitates for a moment before he falls into stride alongside the Knight. The atmosphere around them is thick, but Hux doesn't think that it's because of his frost relationship with Kylo; it's something else, something bigger than that.

For a brief and fleeting moment, Hux considers running away. He could grab Kylo by the hand and turn around and _leave_ before they face Snoke. They could find a small planet hidden away in the far reaches of the galaxy where no one would recognise them. Hux would find them a house to live in and make their own, they could find mundane jobs to keep them busy, find _normal_ civilian lives away from the discourse of the galaxy…and Hux could find his colour again. But it’s impossible. That’s the life he could have had with Ben Solo, not with Kylo Ren. The possibility for that life to occur was taken away from him before he'd even met Kylo. Kylo has never wanted him; he’s made it clear since day one when they'd first met. Hux had been too stubborn to accept it, but he does now. He looks over at Kylo discreetly, seeing that his _grey_ eyes are locked on the archway just ahead of them.

How the mighty fall, Hux thinks. And Hux had felt _so_ extraordinarily mighty when Kylo had kissed him, sending his mind into a flurry of colours.

Hux follows Kylo underneath the archway and into Snoke’s throne room. It’s round in shape and simplistic in decór, with only the dark, ornate throne in the centre and an intricately-designed chandelier hanging from the low ceiling. Upon the throne sits the Supreme Leader, elbow leaning on one of the arms of the chair, his cold gaze locked on the two men as they enter, stepping up onto the raised platform before him. Hux had known that Snoke isn’t the size of his hologram; clearly the creature has issues with his ego. In reality, Hux suspects he’s around 7ft tall, though it’s difficult to tell as his scarred, old body remains seated in his throne. Hux stares up at him, wondering whether he should be the one to speak first as the silence is unsettling, but Snoke’s menacing voice suddenly fills the empty space of the throne room.

“Kylo Ren. General Hux. Your mistakes have cost us dearly,” he says, leering down at them, “you have _both_ failed me in ways that words cannot encompass. I _believed_ my most talented apprentice and my most intelligent General could handle an attack from the insignificant Resistance.”

“My sincerest apologies, Supreme Leader, we tried--,” Hux begins, but Snoke holds his hand up, indicating for him to be silent. Hux complies.

“My plan for your punishment was to demote you, General, perhaps even personally deliver you to the hands of the enemy and allow them to decide your fate,” he leans forward slightly, his dark gaze burrowing into Hux’s skull. “But some… _interesting_ information has just been revealed to me. Kylo Ren, step forward.”

Kylo does as his master commands and takes a step closer to him, standing on the very edge of the raised platform. He bows his head, looking down at the floor. Hux watches carefully, being unable to suppress the pang of worry he has for what Snoke plans to do to punish Kylo’s errors. Whatever Snoke is plotting, Hux doesn't need to be Force-sensitive to know that it's going to be incredibly painful for him.

“Tell me, Kylo,” Snoke says, sitting back in his throne, “did killing your father snuff out the remainder of the Light inside you?”

Hux's eyes widen. Kylo has  _murdered_ Han Solo? Hux's mind reels for a moment as he attempts to tie loose ends together, recalling how his colour had returned to him suddenly when he'd been in the control room on Starkiller and having a strong feeling that something was immensely wrong with Kylo. Kylo had killed his father, and Hux's colour had come back brighter than it'd been for a long time. Clearly, the Light still pulls heavily on Kylo's tormented soul.

“Yes, Supreme Leader,” he answers and Hux realises that he must be lying. Hux can hear the hesitation in his voice, knowing that Snoke will be able to too.

“I see," Snoke says in a tone that Hux can't read. Hux usually prides himself on being expertly able to read body language and tones of voice; it's a skill that's gotten him ahead in the game on numerous occasions but Snoke hides his thoughts well. "So are you _free_ from all Light Side influences? You no longer feel it’s call?”

Kylo gives a slow nod, keeping his gaze trailed on the floor and his head slightly bowed. “I am one with the Dark Side, Supreme Leader. Killing Han Solo has solidified my powers. I no longer feel a call to the Light.”

“Even with your soulmate so close to you?”

Hux watches as Kylo’s head jolts up, turning to look at Hux with concern in his eyes. Hux takes an instinctive step backwards, unsettled by the way Snoke is staring at him. Before Hux can compose a reply, he feels a formidably cold grip around his chest, constricting his breathing, getting stronger by the second. He rasps for breath, feeling the frigid grip tighten as he struggles against it. His eyes widen as he stares back at Kylo, who’s seemingly dropped the false, icy mask he’s been wearing as his expression fills with distress as he realises what Snoke is doing.

“Ren… _please._ ”

////////////////////////////////

Kylo knows that he has failed many people in his life; his mother, his uncle, his father _,_ even Snoke he supposes too, but he’s never failed anyone as much as he’s failed Hux. He’d ripped Hux’s colours away from him, left him cold and alone, and walked Hux--his soulmate--straight to his execution. He hadn’t anticipated that Snoke would be able to sense his and Hux’s soul bond so quickly; he thought that he’d done enough by suppressing the Light within himself to keep Hux safe. He turns quickly, seeing Hux’s hand flatten against his own chest, his breathing increasing as panic consumes him.

“He means nothing to me,” Kylo says in a desperate and unconvincing tone, turning back to Snoke. “Hux is Ben Solo’s soulmate, not mine. He has no part in this!”

Snoke ignores Kylo’s protests and lazily lifts his bony hand into the air, his fingers contorting into clawing gestures. Hux gasps in pain and Kylo turns around, just in time to see Hux’s knees buckle from underneath him. Kylo is quick to his side, catching Hux in his arms and lowering him to the ground safely, holding him close in a futile attempt to comfort him. Hux’s body is rigid in shock, his breathing being forced to an alarmingly slow rate. His head rests in the crook of Kylo’s arm and he stares up at him as though wanting to  _beg_ for Kylo to help but being unable to speak. Kylo stares down into Hux’s green eyes but as he does so, Kylo feels his own panic rising quickly when a realisation hits him.

His colours. They’re _fading_.

“No, Hux…don’t…”

Kylo places his hand on Hux’s chest, feeling his heart being hindered from beating until, eventually, it’ll be forced to stop. Kylo flattens his palm over Hux’s chest, trying to utilise his powers to will it back to its normal pace, but it’s as though his heart is trapped in a cold and icy cage, preventing Kylo from getting to it. He looks over at Snoke, who seems incredibly pleased with his actions, and Kylo growls. He casts his free hand outwards, throwing the Force in Snoke’s direction with the aim of disarming him, but the Supreme Leader seemingly deflects the blast easily, making his clawing gestures harsher. Kylo feels Hux’s body weaken and he looks down to see Hux’s eyes closing slowly, the final droplets of green disappearing from his irises.

Kylo watches through tear-filled eyes as Hux’s lips part slightly as he takes in his last breath of air, wanting his final word to be the most important word he knows.

“ _Ben_.”

Kylo allows the tears to fall down his cheeks as Hux’s eyes close completely, his body falling completely limp in Kylo's strong arms. Kylo cries out in an angered yell, pressing his forehead against Hux’s in a desperate gesture. He feels their soul bond sever, the pain in his chest growing and growing until Kylo feels as though he's going to explode with anguish.

Hux’s hair isn’t red anymore. To Kylo, it’s grey. _Everything is grey._

From behind him, Kylo hears Snoke chuckle.

“What’s wrong, my boy?” Snoke asks mockingly, “I recall a time where you had _begged_ me to eliminate your colours.” Kylo turns to look at him with an enraged glare, holding Hux’s body close to his own as though protecting him, as if he hasn't already failed. Snoke continues, “You should feel empowered that you no longer have him breathing down your neck. I have severed your strongest call to the Light, Kylo. You’re alone again. Just like you wanted.”

With his world now completely black and white, Kylo summons all of his anger, all of his rage and fury into his outstretched hand, his fist clenching as he attempts to crush Snoke’s windpipe through the Force. Kylo won’t stop until he’s dead, until he’s paid for what he’s done to Hux with his life.

But it’s not enough; he can feel Snoke fighting back, straining against Kylo’s hold and attempting to use the Dark Side against him. With a sharp intake of breath, Kylo allows the Light to flow freely through him, yielding underneath its immense pressure to allow it to consume him, to surround him and entwine itself with the darkness like it once had.

He thinks of the colours he’d seen when he’d first met Hux, how after years of seeing everything in a muted hue, it was overwhelming to be consumed by such vivid colours. Hux’s hair had been the brightest thing, red and _almost_ glowing in front Kylo’s eyes. He remembers thinking that he had never seen anyone with red hair before Hux, but now that Hux and his colours have gone, Kylo will never see anything _red_ ever again.

“ _Enough!”_ Snoke yells in a loud and dark tone, trying to claw his way through Kylo’s grip, but Kylo won’t falter. He’s too distraught, too focused on channelling everything he has into choking the life out of the creature who has manipulated him and taunted him for the majority of his life, whispering to him that soulmates are nothing but a hindrance. But Kylo has never felt stronger in his life, and it’s all because of Hux.

As he feels droplets of blood beginning to drip down from his nose, Kylo erupts into a maddened cry of grief, hearing the sickening sound of bones snapping. Snoke is suddenly limp in his Force-hold, and Kylo holds him there for a moment whilst he reins his breathing back under control. He eventually uncurls his fingers from his fist and the lifeless body of the Supreme Leader drops to the floor with a heavy thud. Kylo doesn’t look at him. Instead, his gaze is drawn back to Hux’s peaceful face, as though Kylo had been expecting Hux to wake up once Snoke was no longer alive, once the creature that had prevented them from being together was dead. Kylo places his hand over Hux’s heart and desperately hopes he’ll be able to get it started again, that if Snoke can _take away_ life, perhaps Kylo can _give._ But Hux doesn’t move, he stays still and cold in Kylo’s arms. The tears eventually stop falling as Kylo exhausts himself trying to bring Hux back to life, but his soulmate doesn’t even flinch. Even when Kylo pulls one of his own gloves off to run his hand through his once-red hair, Hux stays still and quiet. His hair is soft underneath Kylo’s fingers, and Kylo distinctly remembers the _exact_ shade of red that it was. He’ll never forget it; even when he’d first met Hux and he hadn’t wanted to believe that they're soulmates, he couldn’t help but stare at the bright shade of Hux’s red hair.

Kylo’s favourite colour has always been red.

“I’m sorry, Hux,” Kylo says aloud, rubbing his thumb gently over Hux’s temple.

There’s a sudden bolt of strange and unfamiliar energy across Kylo’s mind, not painful, but it startles him to the point where he makes a surprised gasp. His eyes widen for a moment before he blacks out, feeling the Force swirling around him in a bizarre way that he's never experienced before. He feels odd, as though his body isn’t his own, that he's becoming detached from everything that's familiar to him.

When he opens his eyes, Kylo finds that he’s no longer in Snoke’s base and Hux isn’t lying limp and lifeless in his arms. He’s standing underneath an unfamiliar cloudy sky, a cool breeze brushing across his skin. He looks down at himself, seeing that he is indeed still in _his_ body, wearing the same clothes, but the oddest thing is that everything is saturated in colour; not as vivid as when he’d found Hux, but brighter than his muted vision when he attempts to suppress the Light. He’s missed his colours, more than he’s willing to admit. He reaches out with the Force for an answer as to what’s happening to him, but he finds no reply. Once again, he's alone.

Kylo turns around slowly with the aim of deducing where he’s been sent to but his gaze is caught by the stunningly vivid field of red flowers and a red-haired boy who's standing and staring at them.

 _Hux?_ Kylo thinks as he approaches the boy slowly. If it _is_ Hux, he’s a little smaller and thinner than Kylo remembers. But the hair…all Kylo can focus on is his red hair. The boy turns quickly when he hears footsteps approaching him, and Kylo sees him attempt to hide himself wiping a tear from his pale cheek. Kylo has to stop himself from tearing up again when he sees the boy’s green eyes.

“Who are you?” The boy asks, frowning at Kylo’s dark robes.

As soon as Kylo hears him speak, he knows it’s Hux: it’s the same clipped and polished voice that Kylo has come to appreciate, even when Hux's tone hadn't been particularly warm.

“I’m…a visitor,” Kylo replies, supposing that it’s technically the truth and that he probably shouldn’t tell Hux his name. He’s still confused as to what this is; it doesn’t _feel_ real, but it’s more than a memory, he can tell.

Hux frowns. “Oh. That explains why I haven’t seen you around here before.”

Kylo nods slowly in response, wondering where ‘here’ is. But as he takes in Hux’s form, he realises that Hux is young, only around 16-17 years old and in some sort of school uniform. Kylo frowns as he begins to piece things together. He takes another look up at the grey clouds in the sky, realising that he’s on Arkanis, that Hux is still a Cadet. Hux still faces him and Kylo can’t help but notice that Hux has considerable amount of freckles dotting over his cheeks and nose and Kylo supposes that Hux grew out of them before they met. His white shirt is torn slightly, sleeves folded up to his elbows and Kylo swears he can see dried blood on his arms and on the sleeves. He's wearing black trousers, black boots and has a bloody bandage is wrapped around the knuckles of his left hand. Hux turns away from him for a moment, looking out at the flowers with an intense sorrow in his eyes, then looks back at Kylo.

“May I ask you a question?” Hux asks.

“Anything,” Kylo replies, making it sound more like a promise. He takes steps forward until he's standing right next to the younger Hux.

“The flowers. What colour are they to you?”

Kylo’s eyes flick over to the flora for a moment. “They’re red.”

“ _Bright_ red?”

“Yes.”

Hux’s eyes widen. “So _you_ have a soulmate?”

Kylo can’t prevent his lips curving into a small smile, finding it a rather odd question coming from his soulmate’s mouth. But wherever this is, Kylo and Hux are nothing more than strangers.

“I do. Don’t you?” Kylo replies, wondering why Hux is asking such an odd question.

Hux shrugs his shoulders, staring out over the flowers. “I do but…they’re dying, I can feel it. The colours, they’re fading slowly. It’s not as bright. It hasn’t been bright for _years._ ”

Kylo watches as Hux’s green eyes fill with emotion, and he finally realises the relevance of this era of Hux’s life. Across the other side of the galaxy somewhere, Ben Solo is falling deeper under the influence of the Dark Side, rendering Hux’s colours to become duller. An immense guilt suddenly radiates through Kylo’s body; only minutes ago, he’d painfully watched as the colours had faded from his world as Hux had taken his last breaths…But Ben falling to the Dark Side had occurred over a number of _years._ Kylo has never considered that Hux’s colour would have taken so long to fade; he presumed it would have been sudden, though he realises now that when he was falling, Hux was too.

Hux sits down on the grass verge in front of the field. Kylo copies, being mindful not to sit too close to him, considering that _this_ Hux views Kylo as a complete stranger. He sits down slowly, not wanting to spook the serene scene.

“What happened to your hand?” Kylo asks. It’s comforting, talking to Hux when he has no idea who Kylo is and without Kylo’s conflict between the Light and the Dark or _politics_ getting in the way of a normal conversation.

Hux lifts his left hand up, pulling and rearranging the bandages so he can see his bruised and cut knuckles.

“I was in a fight,” he says, staring at the gashes on his skin. “I punched two of the lad’s teeth straight out of the front of his mouth. But I think it’ll leave a scar.” His smirk turns into an angered frown. “But he deserved it.”

Kylo casts his mind back to the conversation he’d had with Hux before…before he’d taken Hux’s colour away from him, remembering that _his_ Hux had told him the same story about the scar on his left knuckles. Kylo decides to pry a little more.

“He must’ve said something awful to provoke you,” Kylo says, staring down at Hux’s bloodied hand, hoping that _this_ Hux would reveal more to him about that fight than his Hux did.

Hux looks up slowly at the flowers and sighs. “He said that I don’t deserve a soulmate. He said that he hoped my soulmate died a slow and painful death so we’d both suffer, and then I’d be alone, because that's exactly what I deserve to be. I just saw red and I--well.”

Hux holds his bandaged hand up instead of finishing his sentence and Kylo feels an odd sense of pride; as though Hux had been defending _his_ honour against Academy bullies. Nobody has ever defended him like this before, and Hux didn't even _know_ him, but still, Hux had taken on a group of boys for simply insinuating that Hux's soulmate should die. Kylo realises now that he shouldn't underestimate Hux's passion. But before Kylo can carry on the conversation, he feels the Force tugging at his consciousness, pulling him away from this place. He stands up abruptly, startling Hux.

“I have to go,” Kylo says, looking around him as though he’s waiting for danger to strike. Based off of what he’s experienced in his nightmares, he knows that the most pleasant scenes soon turn into ones of heartbreak. But nothing changes, Hux stands before him, yougn, radiant and _alive._

“Go where? What’s wrong?” Hux asks, scanning Kylo’s panicked expression. "But I've only just met you!"

Kylo looks down at him and places a tentative hand on Hux’s shoulder.

“Just…Ben is sorry. Remember that, when your colours completely fade and everything turns grey. It's not the end. Ben is _so_ sorry for this, for all that’s going to happen to you, Hux.” Kylo’s voice begins to shake as he feels himself being pulled away from him, being forced back into his lonely reality where his Hux is gone. “I’m sorry.”

Suddenly, the world around him fades and blurs into black, and Kylo can’t help but cry out in slight pain as he’s thrust back into his own body, feeling his consciousness return to its rightful place. His eyes remain closed for a moment as he attempts to compose himself, but he knows he’s back in Snoke’s base; he can feel himself being shrouded by the Dark Side, and he can feel Hux’s limp body still held in his arms. Kylo wants to go back to wherever the Force just took him, back to Arkanis, back to _Hux._ He opens his eyes slowly and looks down at the cold body of his soulmate. He isn't prepared for what he sees.

Exactly like the first time he’d set his gaze upon him, Hux’s hair is vibrantly _red._

Kylo’s eyes widen as his jaw hangs slightly agape. He shifts Hux’s weight in his arms and, with his ungloved hand, Kylo places two of his fingers to the underside of Hux’s jaw, feeling a soft thrumming sensation hit his fingertips. Attempting to prevent himself from hyperventilating, Kylo runs his fingers through the red strands, almost unbelieving that he can see in colour. His mind reels, attempting to process everything, but he’s too overwhelmed.

“Hux?” Kylo says, leaning in closer to Hux, feeling the pain in his chest subsiding as his soul bond is reignited, like a flame that had refused to be extinguished.

Hux begins to stir slightly, a small moan escaping from between his pale lips.

“Ren…?” Hux opens his eyes slowly and it takes a couple of blinks for him to readjust his focus. Staring up at Kylo, a slight smile crosses his lips. “Your eyes are _brown.”_

Without hesitation, Kylo pulls Hux up towards him, pressing their lips together as though it’s their first kiss after being separated for _years_ rather than minutes. Kylo’s mind explodes into a flurry of colour, mostly reds and greens, moulding together to create the perfect pattern as warmth spreads through him. Kylo never wants these colours to go, and he has a small inclination that they won’t. And he’ll make sure that Hux’s never leave him either.

As Hux’s body becomes slightly weaker in his arms, Kylo ceases the kiss and looks at Hux’s face, seeing his bright green eyes close again, that he’s seemingly passed out or drifted into sleep. Kylo knows he’ll need time to recover from such an harrowing experience; they both will. Standing up carefully with Hux in his arms, his head resting against Kylo’s shoulder, Kylo strides confidently out of Snoke’s base, leaving the cold body of his former master behind to rot. He’s careful as he steps down the rocks outside, cautious not to jostle Hux’s wounded body too much. Kylo’s command shuttle is exactly where he left it. The ramp lowers as he walks near it and he boards, settling Hux down carefully into the make-shift bunk that pulls out from the side wall for emergencies such as this. Kylo pulls his cowl off and folds it neatly, placing it underneath Hux’s head, wanting him to be as comfortable and as safe as possible. With one last stroke through his hair, Kylo stands and moves to the cockpit, sitting down in the pilot’s seat and setting off from this dreaded planetoid as soon as his hands are on the console.

But as they break through the atmosphere, Kylo realises that he doesn’t want to take Hux back to the _Finalizer,_ or even back to the Order. Hux has spend the majority of his life serving and building the First Order, but that was when he was _grey._ His colours are with him again, for good this time, and Kylo doesn't feel as though its _fair_ to return Hux to the grey and ashen walls of his star destroyer. Turning in his seat, Kylo looks at Hux, who's lying unconscious and still on the bunk. He looks younger when he’s asleep, Kylo thinks, his face isn’t contorted into a unplesant frown. He looks relaxed, at peace. Kylo turns back to the console, staring at the navigation controls and wondering where they should go. A red, flashing light suddenly catches his attention.

_Red._

With eager hands, Kylo inputs the coordinates to a little dull planet in the Outer Rim. Kylo knows that Hux has waited long enough to see his red flowers again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really needed a way for Kylo's colour to fade, and killing Hux was absoloutely the only way to do that! But the mysterious workings of the Force and their strong soul bond brought Hux back to life! None of that midichlorian stuff ;)
> 
> Thanks for reading!  
> My tumblr is also [here.](http://solohux.tumblr.com/)


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OKAY FUCK HELLO
> 
> Apologies for the super long delay in writing this but I kinda hit a brick wall with the plot and got carried away with omega Hux stuff too. I'm so sorry! But honestly, I'm happy with how this turned out and I really hope you like it!
> 
> (and its late when I'm uploading so my proof-reading skills may be poor so I apologise for any mistakes!)

Even after the nights where Hux has drank twice his body weight in brandy, he’s never woken up feeling so horrid. Before he’s even opened his eyes, the pounding ache in his head and the strange soreness that’s radiating throughout every inch of his body is enough to make him want to go straight back to sleep in the hopes that the darkness will take his pain away, like it had done previously when he’d passed out in Kylo’s arms in Snoke’s base.

 _‘Passed out?’_ Hux thinks, trying to cast his mind back. It hadn’t felt like passing out; he’s a workaholic, he’s passed out from exhaustion before and he doesn’t recall it ever feeling so _forced._ He’d felt his heartbeat slowing down rather than speeding up like it normally does when he’s overworking himself. And Kylo had been _crying,_ clutching Hux’s weakening body in his arms, and all Hux remembers is keeping his focus on Kylo’s brown eyes before he’d felt his consciousness fade into black like everything else around him. Hux frowns, hearing himself groan. Snoke had done something to him. It comes back to him slowly, but it feels as though there’s a barrier in his mind from preventing the memories of the last few minutes of his consciousness from properly returning to him but the barrier is breaking down slowly and pieces of memories are slowly putting themselves back together. He remembers following Kylo into Snoke’s base, he remembers apologising to Snoke for the loss of Starkiller, he remembers--.

 _‘Snoke knows about us.’_ Hux suppresses a shiver as the image of Snoke’s mutilated face sinisterly grinning down at him burns itself into the back of his eyelids, remembering how the Supreme Leader’s bony fingers had twisted in the air, forcing Hux’s breathing to a slow halt with the aim of _killing_ him. Clearly, Hux thinks, he hasn’t succeeded. Kylo must’ve found a way to _save him_ or, at least, found a way to stop Snoke before the icy grip around Hux’s chest got too tight that his heart stopped.

But he’d felt...nothing. He remembers his eyes closing, he’d felt himself become surrounded by a deep and impenetrable darkness, alone, as though simply waiting for something to come for him. He recalls thinking that it was the end of his life, that there was no way that Snoke would leave him alive after finding out that _he_ is Kylo’s soulmate, Kylo’s strongest call to the Light and the person standing in Snoke’s way of turning Kylo into a true weapon, completely devoted to the Dark Side.

Hux opens his eyes slowly, finding himself staring up at the ceiling of a familiar shuttle. The ship jostles slightly, indicating to Hux that they’re in flight, obviously away from Snoke’s base. He wonders where they’re headed, and he presumes that Kylo is the one piloting the shuttle though Hux finds himself wondering what has become of the Supreme Leader. Hux shifts on the uncomfortable bunk, lifting his heavy arm to rub his tired eyes. But as Hux moves his head, he notes that he isn’t lying on the standard issue pillows that are usually found in emergency storage on such shuttles. He pushes himself up onto his elbows before sitting up properly, swinging his legs over the side of the bunk to rest the toes of his boots on the floor, seeing that he’s been resting on Kylo’s worn cowl.

“You need to rest.” Kylo’s voice startles Hux slightly, forcing him to look to his left to see Kylo swivelled around in the pilot’s seat, staring at him with a soft gaze. Though his words are telling Hux to lie back down, the gentle look in Kylo’s brown eyes is telling Hux to come closer.

Brown. Kylo’s eyes are _brown._ Hux’s gaze darts about the cockpit of the shuttle for a moment, realising that his colours have returned to him in their full, gleaming brilliance; not dull or fading, everything is seemingly shining in vibrant colour, as bright as the first time he’d found Kylo tearing apart the interrogation room. Or, when Hux had been standing in the control room on Starkiller and his colour had suddenly returned to him, though Hux realises now that the latter must’ve been when Kylo was…confronting his father, and obviously feeling an incredibly strong call to the Light, or else Hux’s colour wouldn’t have returned. Hux swallows hard, knowing that this likely isn’t the time to bring up Han Solo.

“What happened?” Hux asks, rubbing the back of his neck as he stands up, noting a twinge of weakness in his knees but he manages to stay standing as he takes small steps to the copilot’s seat, sitting down next to Kylo, handing him his cowl. “Thank you. For that,” he says rigidly, feeling awkward for some reason, as though something has changed, as though whatever sort of energy that flowed between them beforehand is no longer distracted, as though, now, their sole focus is one another.

But Hux can’t ignore the nagging thought in his mind that’s loudly telling him that he should act coldly towards Kylo, seeing as the last time they were together before they’d confronted Snoke, Kylo had forced Hux’s colours away from him purposefully, leaving him grey and alone.

‘ _But he held me when I fell,’_ Hux thinks to himself. ‘ _He caught me. And now my colours are back?’_

Hux rubs his eyes. To say he’s confused would be an understatement. He turns his attention back to Kylo, feeling slightly fazed at Kylo’s hesitation to answer his question.

“Snoke sensed that you’re my soulmate. He attacked you. I stopped him.” Kylo’s tone is somewhat cold, his words seemingly rehearsed.

“ _Stopped_ him?” Hux echoes, obviously unsatisfied with Kylo’s vague reply. “How? Where is he now?”

“Dead.”

Shocked, Hux raises his eyebrows. Kylo doesn’t look at him, his gaze stays trailed on the passing stars as they travel at hyperspeed towards, what Hux presumes to be, the _Finalizer._ His mind reels with questions that he can’t keep up with. Kylo has been Snoke’s apprentice for a significant period of time, and Kylo has _murdered_ him because he _threatened_ Hux’s safety? A pang of guilt suddenly swells in Hux’s gut for previously calling Kylo ‘heartless’. Clearly, Kylo has _too much_ heart, putting the soulmate he hardly knows before the Supreme Leader he’s served for a considerable amount of his life. And what of the Order? It’s now leaderless, with no one to steer them in the right direction. Hux considers what it would mean for him if _he_ were to take control of the Order, _become_ the next Supreme Leader. He’d change the title, of course. Sloppy seconds has never appealed to him. Perhaps he’ll choose ‘Emperor’--.

“We’re not going back to the Order,” Kylo says, interrupting Hux’s intricate thoughts. “We’re going…somewhere else. Somewhere important.”

Hux frowns as he leans over the navigation console, scanning the inputted coordinates, recognising the series of numbers immediately.

“And _why_ in all nine hells are we going _there_?” Hux says, as though he’s insulted by the numbers on the screen, at the mere insinuation that Kylo is taking him to Arkanis. “There’s nothing of importance on _that_ planet.”

Kylo finally turns to him, raising his eyebrows in disdain, but says nothing, continuing to flick switches on the console in front of him as they drop out of hyperspace in the vicinity of a dull planet. Hux tenses. He hasn’t been _home_ since his mother’s funeral almost a decade ago and even then, his mind was purposefully absent, dwelling on other things rather than the devastating thought that his mother had passed, that he could live for another century and still never see her again, that he never got the chance to see her warm, green eyes again. Hux mutters a few obscenities under his breath as he adds to the coordinates, remembering the precise location of the landing pad behind the grand Hux estate. He turns his head to look at Kylo, who’s smiling, obviously content that Hux is going along with what he wants.

Their shuttle descends quickly through the atmosphere of Arkanis, flying downwards through the thick spread of grey clouds that seemingly keep the planet trapped underneath a haze of constant drizzle. Hux swallows hard, feeling his heartrate increase, feeling as though it’s going to pound out of his chest. Even when he’d returned to Arkanis for his mother’s funeral, to him, everything was _still_ grey, still bland and dull, and Hux had _still_ been under the impression that his soulmate had passed away. He scoots forward nervously in his seat, his gaze darting over the landscape as they fly towards Hux’s family mansion. His breath hitches in his throat when he catches a tiny glimpse of the vivid red hue seemingly radiating from the field of red flowers a few acres behind his old house. Before he can even comprehend his reaction, the hue disappears behind grey buildings, natural beauty hidden by manmade monstrosities. But Hux finds himself overwhelmed at the mere sight of the flowers again. Frowning, he wonders whether _that_ is why Kylo has brought him here but he pushes the thought away quickly; he hasn’t told anyone about the admiration he holds dearly for the red flowers, not even his mother knew of his desires to sit among the bright flora when he was feeling particularly lonely as a child, wishing for his soulmate to share such an inspiring sight.

They land without a hitch in the empty space at the rear of the large house and Hux finds himself suddenly wanting to stay _inside_ their ship, unknowing of what seeing his childhood home is going to do to him. He wants to go back to the Order; _that_ has been his home since he left Arkanis, since he lost his colours when he was 19. He doesn’t belong here, he doesn’t belong anywhere, he knows that he is destined for a life aboard a star destroyer, among the grey that defines him. Coming quickly back to himself as he sees Kylo stand from his seat, Hux realises that the grey no longer has a hold on him, that everything is _colour_.

“Aren’t you coming?” Kylo asks as the ramp lowers, turning back to look at Hux.

“I don’t particularly want to, no.” Hux folds his arms, sitting back in the seat.

Kylo huffs. “You need to rest, Hux. I didn’t know where else to take you,” he says as his gaze softens. “And I had a feeling that there’s something that’s drawing you back here.”

Hux averts his gaze to the floor, not wanting to admit that Kylo is right. Patience has never been Kylo’s strongest trait and he begins walking out of the ship, seemingly confident that Hux will follow him. With a roll of his eyes, Hux stands abruptly from the seat and follows Kylo down the ramp of the shuttle, being hit with the light drizzle that’s currently falling. Hux looks up at the sky, looking through a small gap in the grey clouds to see the light blue sky underneath. He concentrates on breathing, not wanting to be overwhelmed by being back in the environment that he’d come to resent when he was a child.

“Can you walk?” Kylo asks, standing close to Hux, their shoulders touching.

“Of course I can walk,” Hux replies sharply, still remembering how Kylo had pushed him away, forced his colours to desaturate. But he can almost feel the turmoil inside him, divided between wanting to scold Kylo for the way he’d acted that last night in his quarters, and wanting to pull him as close as possible, share his warmth, share his _colour._ Hux manages to bite his tongue.

The Hux estate is large; a grand white mansion sits in the centre of the piece of land, though the rendering on the external walls is discoloured from years of natural weathering. The immensely tall, steel fence that surrounds the fence is still standing strong, keeping the house from being touched by anyone who isn’t a Hux. The pair walk around the perimeter of the fence as the rain begins to fall in heavier droplets, and Hux sees Kylo pull his hood up over his head, resting it on his brow. The rain doesn’t bother Hux, being soaked through to his skin is a feeling he knows all too well after being raised on such a dismal planet. They reach the front of the house and stand in front of the gate where a fingerprint scanner acts as a lock. Hux pulls one of his gloves off and lifts the cap of the little scanner, pressing his thumb onto the small pane of blue glass. It beeps, to Hux’s dismay, and the gate unlocks, opening automatically for the two to enter.

The garden is overgrown, unkempt and messy, the grass growing over the stone path, hiding it from sight.

“Isn’t this…a little extreme?” Kylo says, looking up at the high fence.

“My father became quite particular about security,” Hux replies, “especially when the First Order gained enough support to emerge from a Centrist faction. He thought that such measures were a necessity to protect the integrity of the Order.”

‘ _Indeed. Not to protect his family,’_ Hux mentally adds, absently supposing that Kylo may have heard him anyway.

“Do your parents still live here?” Kylo asks.

Hux shakes his head.

“No. My mother died when I was 25. My father is much too busy with the mission of the First Order to consider upkeep of our old family home.” Hux looks up at the house, noting the dark green moss spreading across the walls and window panes. “Besides. He only ever saw the house as bricks and mortar. Nothing sentimental.”

Hux climbs up the three steps to the porch where another fingerprint scanner awaits, as well as an iris recognition device. Using his ring finger this time, Hux presses his finger into the scanner and leans in to the small device just above his eye-level on the door, a blue light shining directly into one of his green eyes. With a beep, the door clicks as it unlocks, though Hux’s hand seemingly hesitates as he reaches for the worn, golden doorknob, seemingly afraid of what’s inside. But as he feels Kylo place his hand on the small of his back, Hux’s apprehension becomes manageable and he opens the door, holding his breath, as though willingly walking back into the life he’s tried so hard to forget.

Everything is as exactly as he remembers, though admittedly covered in significantly more dust. The white floors that he remembers being always so pristine have turned an off-shade of grey and Hux scowls, never having wanted to see grey again now that he can see in colour again. The walls aren’t much better; the once-elegantly textured, mint and white wallpaper is peeling off the walls, discoloured and unattractive, dying with the rest of the house. In front of them lies the white, stately staircase leading upwards to the other four floors of the mansion, the dark, gilded bannisters with intertwining spindles are just as dusty as the rest of the staircase. A grand, golden chandelier looms over them as they stand idly in the hallway, cobwebs hanging from its intricate metal weaving. Hux’s stare grazes across the furniture in the hallway, looking at the layers of grime and dust that have accumulated from years of abandonment. He swallows hard, knowing that his mother would hate to see _their_ house so neglected and unloved.

He hears Kylo scoff, and Hux watches him out of the corner of his eye as he lowers his hood.

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen a house so unnecessarily large,” he says mockingly, his tone flippant.

"Aren't you _technically_ a Prince?" Hux says with a frown and Kylo shrugs. 

"I suppose. Technically. Not that it means anything, being the Prince of a dead planet."

Before Hux can compose a witty response, he feels his legs becoming weaker, his body cruelly demanding rest. Kylo takes a step closer to him, settling his hands on Hux’s hips.

“Is there a bed you can rest on?"

"No, Ren. In the entirety of the mansion, there are no beds," Hux answers sarcastically, but his proud smile soon disappears when he feels his knees shake. "Up the stairs, second floor, room farthest to the right. It’s a guest room." 

To Hux’s dismay, and his secret approval, Kylo hoists him up into his arms and carries him up the stairs, being seemingly conscious not to jostle Hux’s body too much. Hux can’t help but compare the situation to a pair of newly-weds, entering a home and one of the couple being carried bridal-style up the stairs to bed, though Hux has no intention of doing anything but sleeping. His body aches numbly, craving rest from whatever trauma occurred in Snoke’s base that Kylo is seemingly reluctant to talk about.

“You’re heavier than you look,” Kylo says, though doesn’t seem to be struggling to carry the entirety of Hux’s weight up the flights of stairs.

“What can I say, I’m all muscle,” Hux replies with a smile, feeling a warmth spreading inside his chest.

He leans his head against Kylo’s shoulder as they ascend, and Hux analyses every inch of the house that he can see from his position in Kylo’s arms, looking at the smallest details as they climb the stairs, making mental notes of what’s changed since he’s been gone for no other reason than to add to his guilt, as though he’s somehow let his mother down by abandoning the house he grew up in.

They reach the second floor and Kylo carries him down to the room farthest to the right as Hux had ordered. He pushes the door open with his foot, leaving a dirty imprint of his boot on the off-white wood. As best as he can manage, Kylo shuffles sideways through the door, tipping Hux forward slightly so not to bash his head against the doorframe, though Hux supposes adding ‘concussion’ to his seemingly growing list of ailments wouldn’t be the worst thing. The room is incredibly bland, with only a bed, a desk and a wardrobe to fill the empty space. Even the large window has a pair of _grey_ curtains draped over it, blocking out what little light the system’s sun is providing.

“Your family’s taste is very…specific,” Kylo says, seemingly lacking words.

“This is just a guest room, used for non-Imperialist visitors, usually friends of my mother’s. Associates of my father’s were allowed to stay in one of the grander guest rooms on the top floor,” Hux explains as Kylo lowers him gently down onto the bed. “He was quite particular about making a good first impression.”

Kylo frowns, looking out of the window once Hux is settled.

“And a good first impression is him giving visitors a grand bedroom?” Kylo pulls the curtains over the window, darkening the room slightly so it’ll be easier for Hux to sleep.

“Mm,” Hux hums as he pulls his boots off, “he was all about outer appearances. The bigger, the better.” He stops himself from saying anything else, not wanting to relive anything else from his childhood. Better to keep such memories repressed, though he’s sure a psychiatrist would have a field day with his _rough childhood._

He continues removing his clothes, pulling his jacket off and tossing it across the desk chair just to his right, leaving him when he’s sat only in his undershirt and trousers, feeling unsure of whether he should remove them in front of Kylo. Hux’s fingers sit idly on the hem of his pants, looking up at Kylo.

“Do you…I mean, would you prefer if I left the room?” Kylo asks, a light blush appearing on his cheeks.

Hux ponders over his answer for a moment before he shakes his head and tugs his trousers down over his legs, going by the logic that Kylo is his _soulmate_ ; he’s bound to see his pale legs sooner or later, Hux thinks. He shuffles out of his trousers, leaving him in just his black undershirt and black underwear and Hux pulls the blankets over him as he lies down properly in the bed, feeling tired and weak. Before he closes his eyes, he looks up at Kylo, who’s shifting his weight on his feet as he stands nonchalantly next to the bed.

“You should sleep,” Kylo says, making a sweeping gesture to the pillow with his hand.

“Aren’t _you_ going to sleep? I should imagine killing the Supreme Leader took a lot of your energy,” Hux replies, lying down on his side. He attempts to keep the worry out of his tone but he wonders whether there’s any point.

Kylo shakes his head. “I’ll keep guard for a while. Make sure no one comes near.”

The Knight takes a quick step towards the door as though to leave. Hux sits up abruptly in the bed.

“Ren, wait.”

Kylo halts immediately and turns back around, his hands flexing nervously by his sides. He stares silently back at Hux, like a newly-promoted cadet waiting for orders for their superior.

“Just…come here,” Hux points to the vacant spot on the side of the bed next to him and Kylo seemingly hesitates for second, jolting forward on the spot as though going to move but then doesn’t.

But after seemingly staring into Hux’s green eyes for a few seconds, Kylo takes a step forward and gingerly sits down on the bed, right on the edge, his hands gripping the mattress as though anchoring him. The silence around them is deafening and Hux finds himself wanting to cough or even _talk_ just to fill it, to make it seem as though they aren’t strangers who have just awkwardly met for the first time. Kylo is his soulmate, and Hux decides that it’s about time they start acting like it.

With his palms gently holding Kylo’s blushing cheeks, Hux brings their lips together in a soft kiss, mentally bracing himself for the colours to explode in his mind. As soon as their lips touch, an entire spectrum of striking colours erupts in Hux’s mind, blending together in warm and bright shades, melding and mixing, creating one fusion of rich passion, seeking to fuel their kiss. The tiny sound of their teeth clicking together doesn’t distract from Hux focussing on the colour, swearing that it’s becoming brighter by the second. It’s the different shades of red that are the most vivid, Hux thinks; the colour of Kylo’s lightsaber, the shade of his mother’s favourite lipstick and the hue of the flowers that he’s so desperate to see.

“Starkiller was red too,” Kylo says as he breaks the kiss, opening his eyes slowly, seemingly having picked up Hux’s thoughts.

“I’m sure _snow_ is white, Ren,” Hux replies as he pulls his hands from Kylo’s face, ignoring the annoying voice in his mind that’s reminding him how red the snow was when he’d found Kylo bleeding out and waiting to die. That particular shade of red is one that Hux will hate forever.

“No, I mean the beam itself. I know…I know you couldn’t see it,” Kylo’s voice softens as his gaze drifts downwards away from Hux’s eyes as though he feels guilty, feels some sort of remorse for keeping Hux and his colours separated for _years._

Hux doesn’t reply, just stares softly into Kylo’s brown eyes, trying to read his emotions. It always slips Hux’s mind that Kylo’s colours have suffered too as a result of him falling to the Dark Side; it wasn’t just Hux’s world that changed that day. Hux may have lost his colours but Kylo lost his family, his home, _himself._ As Hux leans in for another kiss, he realises that heartbreak losing his colour must’ve been nothing in comparison to the agony that Kylo suffered through when he first _became_ Kylo Ren, when he lost everything, including his soulmate.

Kylo runs his hand through Hux’s hair, smoothing his fingers through the fine, red strands of hair that sit at the nape of Hux’s neck, and Hux shivers at the gentleness of the touch, finding it oddly soothing.

“You…should sleep,” Kylo whispers with a slight tremble to his voice, pulling away but leaving his forehead pressed against Hux’s. The gesture feels eerily familiar for a moment but Hux can’t quite place it. It obviously means something to Kylo as his body has tensed and his breath is coming heavily though his nose, his hand still holding onto the back of Hux’s neck as though letting go would mean something terrible. After a few more seconds of quiet, Kylo pries his hand away from Hux, pulling his forehead away at the same time, a hefty sigh on his lips.

“I’ll keep watch,” Kylo says as he stands and disrobes, throwing his worn robes and cowl on top of Hux’s clothes on the desk chair, leaving him standing in just his sleeveless black undershirt and trousers.

Hux takes a lingering look down Kylo’s toned arms but the call of sleep distracts him. He shuffles down in the bed under the blankets, lying down on his side, curling in on himself. He watches as Kylo steps towards the door, the Knight’s eyes seemingly trailing protectively over Hux’s tired body.

“Wake me in a few hours,” Hux says, stifling a yawn, “I don’t want to sleep all day. We’ll have to come up with a plan of what we’re going to do next.”

Hux admits privately to himself that he wishes that they’d gone straight back to the _Finalizer_ , back to the Order, back to the place where he’d called home for the last decade of his life. The house feels almost unfamiliar to him; this isn’t General Hux’s home. This is the home of a lonely, _pitiful_ boy whom Hux has long tried to forget and as he shuffles into a more comfortable position on the hard mattress, he realises that he’ll be damned if he’s going to let his past compromise him, especially in front of his soulmate. But a large part of him is crying out for the life that he should have had; a life away from war with his soulmate.

“And don’t even think about snooping,” Hux calls out as Kylo pulls the door open, feeling his eyes drift closed, hoping for a dreamless sleep.

Hux doesn’t see the smile spreading across Kylo’s lips.

 

///////////////////////////////////////////

Kylo leaves the guest room door a crack open as he pulls it over, not wanting to be completely shut off from Hux as he gets some well-needed rest. He admits that there's a strong desire dwelling in the pit of his stomach to climb into the bed beside Hux and hold him until they both fall asleep but the warrior instinct inside him is urging him to sweep the premises, ensure that they're safe inside the house that's managed to stay proudly standing for the last decade on its own. He doesn't particularly know who would even come near such a well-guarded structure but Kylo supposes that having his soulmate die in his arms has made him a tad overprotective. 

A cold chill spreads across his skin as he walks back down the staircase and towards the kitchen at the back of the house, recalling how his colours had faded as Hux had done the same, his heartbeat fading into an agonising silence. Kylo had believed that Snoke wouldn't have been able to sense their soulbond; a clear underestimation on Kylo's part that had cost Hux his life. _Had_. It's still baffling how Hux is alive and breathing but there's a large part of him that doesn't want to question it, as though doing so would somehow reverse it and Hux would be taken from him. 

' _Never again_ ,' Kylo thinks. He's lost Hux too many times for his liking. This was never how his mother had described it, it was supposed to be straight forward; find your soulmate, fall in love, settle down. But Kylo feels as though he should've guessed that things would never be simple for him.

The kitchen, like the rest of the house, is dusty and silent. Big, but rather decayed, the once pristine white of the kitchen counters and the shining silver of the appliances are dull from years of natural withering. There's no gentle thrumming coming from the refrigerator so Kylo guesses that it's stopped functioning, his nose confirming it as he opens the door and the strong scent of rotting food hits him in the face. Scowling, he closes the refrigerator immediately and huffs. Hux needs food, he needs his strength if they're going to figure out what to do or where to go. 

With a conscious gentleness about his actions, Kylo rifles through the cupboards carefully, not wanting to disrupt Hux's rest with unnecessary noise. When he's done looking through the bottom shelves, he grabs a little wooden stool from underneath one of the counters and stands on it, looking in the highest cupboards. 

"Please let there be something," he mutters to himself as he begins picking up the packets and reading the small nutritional info ration on the sides. The shelves hold little food, all past their use-by date anyway. He finds himself becoming more and more frustrated the more he picks up packets of food and realise that there's nothing to eat. 

But just as Kylo is about to hop down from the stool, he spots a little red and white box shoved into the back corner of the cupboard. He grabs it, being careful not to crush the flimsily little thing in his strong grip. Before he's even opened it, a relaxing scent of sweet fruits swells gently from the box and, opening the lid, Kylo finds little handmade teabags inside, stitched together with a thin, red thread and arranged neatly in two rows. He picks one out, holding it up between his thumb and forefinger, presuming that, because it's in the cupboard, Hux will like it. It's the best he can find, anyway. 

With a slight surprise to even himself, Kylo drifts around the kitchen and sets to work quickly, boiling water to make Hux some of the fruity tea. Despite their situation, Kylo feels strangely calm, as though this is a life he could get used to, eventually; no politics, no fighting, no war, he thinks to himself. Just him and Hux and their colours, carving their own pathways rather than meandering along ones already lay out before them. But he knows that Hux may be reluctant to leave their lives behind and begin anew. 

After rooting through all of the cupboards in the kitchen, Kylo finds no sign of any mugs or cups. He huffs, slamming the cupboard door shut but immediately curses himself for the loud noise. But stretching out through the house with the Force, he finds that Hux's consciousness is at peace and Kylo relaxes slightly. Wandering into anointing the dining area, Kylo sees an old wooden cabinet filled with old China crockery, looking as though it's never been touched. Hearing the water boiling in the kitchen, Kylo pulls the handle of the cabinet, giving a slight yelp as the entire door comes off in his hand with a rusty snap. Kylo rolls his eyes and curses under his breath. This house is falling apart from the inside, he thinks, and he realises that the sooner that he and Hux can leave here, the better. 

After choosing a white and turquoise patterned cup and saucer with intricate gold sequins of leaves, Kylo makes the tea swiftly and goes back upstairs to check on Hux, ignoring the nagging voice in the back of his mind that's telling him that he's fooling no one; he's the Jedi Killer, committer of patricide, a  _traitor_ to the Light. Making a cup of tea for his sleeping soulmate and dreaming of a life away from war isn't going to suddenly redeem the evil doings of Kylo Ren. 

But maybe redemption isn't what he wants.

He knows it certainly isn't what Hux would want. 

Pushing the door open to the guest room, Kylo can hear the gentle sounds of Hux's breathing as he lies on his back in the bed, blankets covering most of his body, his face relaxed into young features. Kylo finds himself smiling, his lips curving up at one end as he sets the cup and saucer down on the desk, twisting the handle so it's within Hux's reach when he wakes. Sitting down on the edge of the bed, Kylo's smile fades into a sad frown, remembering how Hux's expression had been forced into peacefulness when Snoke had taken his last breaths away from him, but not before Hux had uttered one final word with his last gasp.

 _Ben_. 

For the first time in a long time, Kylo allows himself to think of the name without fear of it awakening something unwanted within himself. There can be no arguing that he is Hux's soulmate, but who 'he' is exactly, Kylo finds himself struggling. 

A small sigh from Hux distracts Kylo from his quiet identity crisis and he looks down to see Hux shuffling closer to him, wanting warmth. Hux's hair somehow looks brighter as he lies on the stark white pillow. Unable to resist, Kylo brushes his fingers through the few strands of soft red hair that have fallen over Hux's forehead. In his sleep, Hux leans into the touch, inclining his head upwards into Kylo's hand, letting out a quiet exhale of breath through his nose. Kylo stands up slowly, sensing that his presence is distributing Hux's much needed rest. 

Hux told him not to snoop, but Kylo had never really been one for following instructions, especially not from Hux. 

He wanders slowly along the dark corridors of the Hux estate, finding mostly empty rooms or rotten, damp bathrooms. Ascending the staircase to the top floor, Kylo stretches his hand out and pushes the first door open, noting that it's different from the others. All of the other doors are white, or they used to be, but this door is sleek black, no doubt it used to shine. As the door opens fully, he's met with the sight of an almost pitch black room and he gets an inclination that this room once held significant importance to, most likely, Brendol Hux. He steps in, noting a slight chill in the air that makes the hairs on his bare arms stand on end, and he wishes he hadn't taken his layers of outer robes off before Hux had fallen asleep. 

There's a small light switch to his immediate right on the wall and it's flicked on with a small wave of Kylo's hand. The room in engulfed in a cold white light and Kylo's eyebrows raise as everything becomes illuminated. It must've been Commandant Hux's study, as it's by far the largest room he's seen in the house, with a large desk and grand chair sitting proudly in front of the far wall of windows which are covered slightly by a pair of dark blue curtains. But mounted on the walls, almost hiding the grey painted walls, and dotted around the room in glass cases, is an impressive collection of imperial memorabilia. From old an old TIE pilot's helmet to decommissioned blasters, Kylo wanders slowly around the room, feeling mostly indifferent towards everything. The majority of the Empire had fallen by the time he was even born; it's not something he feels a connection with. But Hux had been a small boy when the Rebellion beat the Empire, Hux had seen the only world he'd ever known crumble around him as everything changed. Kylo swallows hard, knowing that Hux's world had crumbled again when his colours were lost when he was 19. 

Kylo's attention is suddenly grabbed by a series of large posters mounted on the wall opposite Brendol's desk; imperial propaganda posters. His gaze lingers on the one that's front and centre, the one wth the bright red back ground that depicts three Star Destroyers with the words ' _Security In Strength, Order In Obedience_ ' written in white over them, and Kylo can't help but thing that the phrase sounds exactly like that his soulmate would say. But if little Hux had grown up around such propaganda then Kylo supposes that such astute phrases would've ingrained themselves in his young mind.  

He looks at another couple of smaller posters that are dotted around the larger ones; one with a sad looking Imperial officer that reads ' _Loose Lips Bring Down Starships_ ' and a simple one with images of the old TIE fighters and words about joining the Imperial navy. 

But Kylo can't stop staring at the poster furthest to the right, the one with his grandfather on. Vader stands tall in the image, in front of the logo of the Empire with the words ' _Vader Will Lead Us To Victory'_ across the bottom of the poster in bold white lettering.

He stands with his arms folded in front of the poster, staring at the front of Vader's mask with a slight frown on his face. From stories that his mother had told him when he was younger, Kylo knows that Anakin Skywalker and Padmé Amidala were soulmates. Had the same thing that happened to Hux's colours happened to Padmé when her soulmate succumbed to the Dark Side? Kylo supposes so; that his grandmother's colours had quickly faded into grey when Anakin had been betrayed and Vader had taken control. 

His thoughts turn to his grandmother, wondering whether, if she were still alive, her colours would have returned to her once Anakin had redeemed himself and allowed the Light in again, just Kylo has--.

Kylo takes a staggered step backwards with a gasp. _Has_ he embraced the light? Nothing about his person feels particularly different; he doesn't feel like Ben Solo has returned by he doesn't quite feel like the same Kylo Ren he once was either. It's an odd sort of  balance that he feels within himself, as though there's a quiet equilibrium between the two that's centring him, keeping his powers harmonised in a quiet stasis that's preventing his tensions from rising. 

"Finish what you started," he says to himself in a quiet tone as though questioning the meaning of the words, his gaze fixed on the poster of Vader, thinking of the life that Anakin could have had with his soulmate, the life that he threw away for the Dark Side. 

Feeling suddenly intimidated by Vader's emotionless mask, Kylo leaves the room, remembering to turn the light off as he goes.  Maybe his realisation about the Light and the Dark is something he can talk about with Hux. After all, he doesn't suppose anyone knows him better than Hux does. 

Kylo continues exploring, finding nothing else of interest until he comes to the final room at the very end of the dark corridor. There's something off about the aura around the door, something that's luring Kylo closer. He touches the doorknob this time to open it rather than simply pushing it open with the Force, feeling an almost bolt of electricity in his fingertips as he twists it and pushes the door open. 

The bedroom is relatively small and immensely grey. It's definitely not as big as some of the guest rooms Kylo had seen on his exploration of the house.

The bed in front of him is still neatly made and undisturbed, grey cushions adorn the widow-seat, the shelves on the walls and the desk are empty. It's impersonal, bland, as though no one had ever loved this room. He senses a fluctuation around him and Kylo quickly hones in on the fact that this room is so emotionally charges with negative emotions; loss and grief and just an overwhelming sadness that dampens the very air in the room. 

This must have been Hux's bedroom, Kylo quickly decides, though obviously redecorated, as a child who's able to see such bright colours wouldn't choose a bland shade of grey to colour the walls with. As Kylo strides across the room to sit on the window-seat, finding that he's taken a liking to it. He remembers how he'd enjoyed looking up at the bright shining stars when he was younger, imagining his soulmate looking up at them too, wishing that he'd been able to meet them one day. But that was before the darkness, before Snoke, before Ben had become Kylo. 

' _A much simpler time_ ,' Kylo thinks, looking out of the dirty window to the overgrown garden below. He imagines it neat and cared for, he imagines Hux as a small boy playing in the grass and dirtying his knees...likely receiving a scolding from his father for making a mess. 

He turns back around and regards the room with a sad look, wondering how bright it was before Hux had lost everything. Kylo's gaze is drawn downwards when he catches glimpse of a large, steel box underneath the bed, looking as though the bedsheets were meant to keep it hidden. He shuffles forward on his knees and pulls the box out, noting the two old padlocks on its handles, keeping whatever is inside locked away from prying eyes. He sits with his legs crossed, the box in front of him. Without a seconds thought for Hux's privacy, Kylo snaps both of the locks with the Force simultaneously and they drop to the floor with a metallic thud, though he placed a tentative hand on the lid as he lifts is slowly, fearing that, because it belongs to Hux, it'll be rigged in some way to harm intruders. 

But the box is safe, the lid relaxing back on its hinges without a problem. 

And Kylo can't help but smile sadly as he sees what's inside, what Hux has kept shut away for more than half his life. 

A collection of brightly coloured objects sit inside the box, all looking as though they've just been carelessly tossed in. There’s a small transparent-yellow box of coloured crayons, little figurines of starships, a single deflated pink balloon, an assortment of children's toys, including small balls and toy soldiers, and folded at the bottom is a blue and red blanket, still soft as Kylo brushes his fingers over it. It's a random mix, though the only thing they all seemingly have in common with each other is the fact that they're bright, colourful, _eye-catching;_ things which may only frustrate those who are unable to perceive or appreciate their vividness. 

Kylo picks up the two books that sit atop the pile of things in the box. He reads the cover of the dark blue one first, entitled ' _Starfighters: A Pilot's First Steps_ ', an old worn book but the spine is only half broken, only half the pages have been annotated. Kylo flicks through some of the pages, seeing beginner’s lessons on the basics of flying, with bold lettering and coloured diagrams, with words in Hux's recognisably sharp handwriting dotted around the text. Kylo doesn't suppose this was merely light reading for young Hux, but he doesn't know why only half the book has been read. He sets it down, still frowning, and turns his attention to the next book. 

This one is extremely worn, it's red fabric cover frayed in various places from being touch and read too many times. It's odd, Kylo thinks, that such things become ruined from too much love. The title sits proudly at the top, reading ' _Your Sky Is Blu_ e' in silver lettering, albeit slightly faded. He flips open the hard cover and skims through some of the pages at random, seeing that it's a pictured storybook about soulmates, a red-haired boy depicted in almost all of the illustrations. Kylo skims through until he reaches the very back page where he finds some scribblings. In extremely neat calligraphy at the top of the page in faded blue ink is the name ' _Nola Sunfell',_ and underneath, in the sharp handwriting that Kylo has come to recognise, is the name _'Armitage Hux'._ Kylo smiles, grazing his thumb over Hux's handwriting, presuming that the storybook must've been handed down to Hux from his mother. 

Kylo has always been aware of Hux's first , name, though not his preferred, but it seems odd seeing it written on paper for the first time, knowing that it's the name that he'd so desperately wanted to know when he was younger. It's the name that Ben had used all of his shooting star wishes on, hoping that somehow the Galaxy would tell him that his soulmate is a little red-haired boy called Armitage. 

"I thought I told you not to snoop." 

Kylo slams the book closed with a loud thud and looks up to see Hux standing against the doorframe, hair dishevelled from sleep, his frame looking thin in only his black sleeveless undershirt and his uniform trousers, his hands shoved into his pockets. 

"I've never taken any notice of your orders, Hux," Kylo says with a huff, "what makes you think I'm going to start now?" He looks back down at the book in his hand and sets it down back inside the box. "What's all this supposed to be?" 

Hux shrugs. "It's not supposed to _be_ anything." He takes a step forward and sits down on the bed, slowly peering over the side to look in the box for the first time since his colours faded when he was 19. "It's just the things that lost meaning when I went colour-blind."

Kylo feels his stomach tie itself in a large knot, feeling immensely guilty every time Hux mentions his colours abandoning him. He's the reason that happened, he's the reason why Hux became so cold and so empty. 

"What's this?" Kylo asks, feeling as though if he doesn't talk, he'll scream. He holds up the pilot's beginner’s guide and watches Hux's green eyes shimmer with nostalgia. 

"Can't you read?" Hux stifles a laugh.

"Of course I can read. You know what I mean. I just. Never pictured you as a pilot. Or even training to be one," Kylo replies, flicking through some of the first pages of the book. 

Hux makes an agreeable noise. "My Father sought to exploit everyone's assets. Those of us who weren't colour-blind were forcibly enrolled in secret aeronautics classes. Needless to say, I became rather incompetent in his eyes when I lost the privilege of perceiving colour. I was removed from the class almost immediately." 

This time, Kylo physically jolts when Hux finishes talking, feeling a real pain in his chest, a tug at their soulbond, as though experiencing Hux's grief at losing his shot at becoming a pilot.  _Another_ thing for Kylo to blame on himself.

“But I suppose that meant I had more time for other classes,” Hux says quickly as though noticing Kylo’s shift in expression.

Feeling a shiver on his skin, Kylo stands up carefully, leaving the lid of the box open as he sits down on the bed next to Hux, their hips touching. Kylo slides his around Hux’s waist and they lean in towards each other for a gentle kiss. Placing his warm hands on Kylo’s blushing cheeks, Hux pulls Kylo closer to him until they find themselves falling sideways onto the length of the bed, next to one another, facing each other, lips still locked. Kylo feels the explosion of colours in his mind like a disorganised show of fireworks, bursting in shades of blues and reds, melding and mixing into vibrant patterns that only make Kylo want to kiss Hux deeper. But much to Kylo’s disappointment, Hux breaks the kiss.

“You look…different,” Hux says, smoothing Kylo’s hair from his eyes.

“ _Bad_ different?”

“No.”

Kylo raises his eyebrows. “You don’t sound very convincing.”

Hux tuts and rolls his eyes.

“You look lighter. Your eyes aren’t as dark,” he replies, softly grazing his forefinger across Kylo’s cheekbone.

Kylo feels his heart flutter with nervousness, supposing that now would be a good opportunity to bring up the incredibly complicated topic of who he is.

“Do you remember what you said to me before you…passed out?” Kylo says in a quiet tone, deciding to keep Hux’s death on a need-to-know basis. And Hux doesn’t need to know. Not in this moment, anyway.

Hux seemingly hesitates, as though afraid to repeat the name that Kylo has distanced himself from for the majority of his adult life. “I…called you ‘ _Ben’_.”

“Why?”

Hux blinks, shrugs. “ _Ben Solo_ is the name of my soulmate, isn’t it? You can only have _one_ soulmate in a lifetime. Strangely, I felt as though _then_ was the right time to call you by that name for the first time.”

“Is that what you want to call me?” Kylo asks. He isn’t sure how he feels about reverting back to his old name but if it’s what his soulmate desires then so be it.

“No. Because you’re _not_ Ben Solo, are you, Ren?” Hux says and Kylo raises his eyebrows, feeling alarmed that Hux may have a better grasp on this than him.

“I’m not. But, I don’t wholly feel like Kylo Ren either. Not anymore. Not with Snoke gone and my colours so bright and you…being so close to me. But I’ll go along with whatever name you give me,” Kylo replies, and waits.

Hux thinks for a few moments, and Kylo resists the urge to hurry him along.

“I suppose I’ve always called you ‘ _Ren’,_ haven’t I?”

“You have. Since we met.”

Hux nods once and smiles. “Then we’ll stick to ‘ _Ren’._ Simple. Easy to remember.”

And Kylo can’t help but smile at Hux in return. To him, names have always felt like a hold over him that he hadn’t chosen to have; Ben to his parents, Kylo to Snoke. In the past, his name had just been a symbol of him belonging to someone else, someone else deciding his destiny, but not this time. Now, Ren is willingly giving himself to Hux, allowing his soulmate to have ownership of him for as long as Hux wants.

"Good,” Hux says in a confident tone and leans forward to give Kylo a quick kiss.

"But…what now?” Kylo replies with a slight shake of his head, being unsure of whether Hux will want to go back to the First Order.

“I’m not sure. The Order is all I’ve ever known. The only home I’ve had since I left Arkanis when I was just a lad.”

Kylo nods slowly, already planning on how they’re going to track down the _Finalizer_ so he can take Hux home.

“But,” Hux says, and Kylo’s eyes light up. “I find myself not wanting to return. Something is pulling me away from it. As though that’s not the life I’m meant to have now.”

Kylo can see the confusion in Hux’s eyes, the conflict between everything he’s ever known and everything he’s ever wanted.

“Come on,” Hux says, inclining his head back towards the window. He sits up slowly, pressing his lips to Kylo’s warm cheek before he moves. “There’s something I want to show you.”

 

//////////////////////////

 

To Hux’s delight, the seemingly endless stream of drizzle that’s infamous on Arkanis has lightened up as he leads Kylo, hand-in-hand, through the streets of dull buildings and along the same route that Hux had taken hundreds of times when he was younger.

Before they had left Hux’s mansion, Kylo had merely gotten dressed in his old robes, but Hux had been reluctant to put his jacket back on, not wanting the First Order insignia on his sleeve. He’d been forced to root through the wardrobes and found a slightly worn grey jacket stuffed in the back of one in one of the guest rooms. It fits Hux almost perfectly, and he takes a liking to its large lapels and button-up style, hugging his slim figure in a flattering way. He even catches Kylo giving him a second glance as they walk next to each other. 

Not much has changed in his planet in the years that Hux has been absent, though things look a little more downbeat.

But Hux knows exactly where he’s going.

Despite not having walked this route in over 16 years, Hux is confident that he’d be able to find his red flowers blindfolded. Kylo doesn't utter a word as they walk but Hux knows that his soulmate is most likely aware of where Hux is leading him to. 

They pass a few strangers on the way around but Hux pays them no mind. He's not even sure whether they'll recognise him; he supposes the brightness of his hair would give away at least some indication of his identity but whether or not these people could even _see_ his red hair is another matter entirely. No one’s gaze seems to linger on them for too long so Hux relaxes as much as he can, calming himself as to not get too overwhelmed with emotion when he sees his flowers again. 

"How much further?" Kylo asks, being one or two steps behind Hux.

"It's not far. Keep up," Hux replies with a smirk and gives a tug on Kylo's hand, making him fall into step beside him. 

The pathway they walk along is the one Hux used to use to walk home from school. He finds himself picturing himself a young cadet, trudging home from school that day when he'd brawled with a group of boys after they'd insulted his soulmate. The scar on the back of his knuckles begins to itch. 

The buildings become sparser as they walk together along the sodden path and Hux sees the recognisable red hue rising up in the distance. It's only when Kylo reassuringly squeezes his hand does Hux realise that he's started to tremble, with anxiousness or with excitement, he isn't sure. 

"It's okay," he hears Kylo say in a quiet tone, and suddenly Kylo is leading with Hux two steps behind. 

Hux doesn't answer; he feels the words catch in his throat, unable to tear his gaze away from the field of bright red flowers that they're getting closer to. Still cloudy and miserable, a gentle chilling wind begins to blow but all Hux can focus on are _his_ flowers.

It’s only when the two of them stop in front of it does Hux feel almost completely overwhelmed by the sight. It's just as vibrant as he remembers, though the last time he was stood in front of it like this, the scarlet shade of the petals was fading from existence. He feels a childlike excitement bubbling within himself, threatening to make tears of joy stream down his face but he manages to keep himself composed. He exhales slowly through his nose, being thankful that Kylo is holding his hand, anchoring him. 

"This is where I visited most when I was a child," Hux says, trying his upmost to keep his voice steady. "On the days where I felt especially alone, sitting here for hours would make me feel better. Ridiculous, I know."

"It's not ridiculous." Kylo's tone is calm and quiet as he stands like a pillar next to Hux, tall and strong, protective and sturdy, giving Hux the support he needs. 

Hux smiles as he reminisces. He knows it's not the flower he appreciates, it's the sheer vividness of the red petals and the green stems that make him feel empowered. 

"I promised myself that I'd bring my soulmate back here once I'd found them." Hux turns his head slowly, pulling his gaze away from the flowers and towards Kylo, seeing that he's staring with deep eyes at the glorious flora in front of them. Seeing Hux looking at him, Kylo blinks. 

"I like them," Kylo says. 

Hux huffs, laughs. 

"You have _such_ a way with words, Ren." 

To Hux's dismay, Kylo doesn't respond with the derision that he wanted, he turns his gaze away from Hux to stare back at the flowers, and Hux can suddenly see the emotion in his eyes, the joy and the grief, the surprise and the anger. 

 _'No wonder he used to wear the mask_ ,' Hux thinks, but he keeps quiet, remembering how he'd become so overwhelmed by the sight of the dynamic ruby glow of the flowers. 

"I always did like red the most," Kylo says. "There was something about it that made me feel strong, even before Snoke got into my head, before he poisoned me and told me that my soulmate is my biggest weakness." 

Hux sees a flash of fear in Kylo's eyes for a moment before it’s gone, as though he realises that his _Master_ is no longer alive.

"He isn't here anymore, Ren. He can't take anything from you. He can't dictate your life to you anymore," Hux says with a confident shake of his head. The light drizzle of rain that's characteristic of Arkanis begins to fall, dampening them slightly, but neither seem to care. "How...did you do it, Ren? Kill him, I mean. I shouldn't imagine something like that is a simple feat. And honestly, I can't say I've never thought of trying it myself."

Kylo visibly tenses, swallowing hard. 

"With the Force. The Light and the Dark together," Kylo says, his voice wavering slightly, distracted. "I couldn't overpower him with just the Dark, not with my colours--." 

Kylo stops himself abruptly and straightens his back, and Hux feels his hand tense.

"Ren? _With your colours_ \--what?" But Kylo doesn't answer, though his gaze drifts downward to the floor. "Ren. What happened? You've suddenly gone pale. What’s wrong?" 

Kylo sighs. So does Hux. 

" _Ren_."

Reaching for his other hand, Hux pulls Kylo around until they're chest-to-chest and Hux give Kylo his harshest stare though it comes through as more worried than intimidating.

Kylo doesn't look up but the distance in his eyes tell Hux that whatever he's going to say has deeply affected him. 

"Not with my colours gone." 

" _Gone_?" Hux echoes, frowning. He casts his mind back to the moments before he'd _passed out,_ seeing Snoke's fingers clawing at the air as he felt his heartbeat slowing, his body forced into panic. He remembers darkness, a deep nothingness, suspended in a quiet turmoil. 

"He killed you, Hux. I led you straight to him and I couldn’t save you," Kylo's voice shakes, his nose scrunching as he attempts to hold back his tears. 

Hux feels a stabbing pain in his chest, hot and sharp, and he isn't sure whether it's a residual feeling of Kylo's emotions or whether it's the shock of Kylo's words. 

"Ren, that can't be true. I wouldn't be here if he'd killed me...” But Hux finds his own words trailing off, knowing that Kylo’s expression wouldn’t be so agonised if it weren’t true. Hux slowly lets go of Kylo’s hands and takes an instinctive step backwards, his eyes wide. He raises his palm up, flattening it against his own chest expecting to find nothing but he feels his heart beating as normal, as it should be. “I don’t understand.”

Kylo finally looks up and reaches out for Hux’s hand again, taking tight hold of it.

“I don’t either. But it was the Force. I know it was,” Kylo says, his tone a little sturdier now. “It felt different. It sent me back to see you. Here. You were just a boy. Your hand,” Kylo looks down to Hux’s knuckles, seeing the faint pink scar across his knuckles. “It was a mess. You’d been in a fight. Another boy had been taunting you, saying that you don’t deserve a soulmate, that you deserve to be alone. You told me you saw red and hit him. Then I was back in Snoke’s base and you were waking up. _Alive._ ”

Hux stares up at Kylo, breathing heavily through his slightly parted lips. He can feel a headache looming at the base of his skull, threatening to rise and ruin him. Every fibre of his being is screaming at him, telling him that _this isn’t possible._ His understanding of the ever-mystical Force that supposedly binds everything has always been limited, though he admits that the research he did a while ago into how Ben Solo falling to the Dark Side would have affected their soulbond has enlightened him ever so slightly but not enough that’ll make him believe that such an entity can bring a person back to life. But Hux finds himself ignoring everything he’s ever known and believing what Kylo is telling him, because Kylo’s eyes are telling him so.

“I’ve never told anyone why I hit him,” Hux says, his hand loose in Kylo’s tight grip.

“You told _me_. Right here,” Kylo says, nodding downwards to the spot their standing in. “This isn’t the first time I’ve seen your flowers. You were a cadet. You had a white shirt on with the sleeves rolled up to your elbows but a few buttons were torn from the top. Black trousers, black boots, dried blood on your hands and a bandage around your knuckles--.”

Hux feels his breathing growing more ragged, his chest tightening, his hands trembling.

“Ren _, stop._ ”

And Kylo does, clamping his lips shut almost immediately.

Feeling unable to support himself, Hux steps closer to Kylo and closes the gap between them, laying his head on his soulmate’s shoulder, allowing Kylo to encase him in his arms.

“I’m sorry,” Kylo mutters, his lips pressed to Hux’s head.

“It’s alright. I’ve just…always been sceptical about the Force and now I’m supposed to believe that it brought me back to life?” Hux replies.

“I don’t care,” Kylo says abruptly and Hux pulls away from the embrace to look up at him, startled by Kylo’s blunt response. They stand opposite one another, untouching, but Hux sees that Kylo’s eyes are still soft, still brown. “I don’t care if it wasn’t the Force. I don’t care if you don’t believe it, Hux. I lost you. I lost everything. All those times you told me how completely terrible it is to see everything in black and white and I didn’t believe you. Until you were cold and _gone_ in my arms and I couldn’t see your red hair anymore. Everything was grey and _it hurt._ ” He clenches his fist and presses it forcefully against his chest, over his heart. “I _felt_ you die, Hux. I felt everything fade and I was too weak to stop it. I couldn’t save you. And I’m sorry. But _something_ did. And you’re still here and we can both see in colour and that’s all I wanted when I was younger. So you’ll forgive me if I’m reluctant to question how the only good thing I’ve ever had came back to me. _I don’t care.”_

The silence between them is thick for a few moments and Hux swears his knees are going to buckle from underneath him. Kylo looks on the verge of tears, his gaze locked with Hux’s, his eyes red and watery. He lowers his fist from his chest and exhales slowly, straightening his back.

As though they’re two old souls who’ve been kept separated for centuries, Hux takes a step forward and reaches up to hold Kylo’s pale cheek in his palm, bringing their lips together desperately, reaching to take hold of one of Kylo’s hands. He feels Kylo kiss back with equal force, his free hand sliding around Hux’s slim hips to hold him in place, anchoring him to this moment. It takes a considerable amount of Hux’s mental energy not to collapse from the sheer ferocity of the colours in his mind, detonating in vibrant illuminations, lighting up his mind like none of their other kisses have in the past. It’s the entire spectrum this time, bursting and filling his mind to the point where Hux thinks he might become overwhelmed. The red and oranges are lively and energetic, but the blues and purples are soft and soothing; everything that Kylo represents.

They stay among the vivid flora for a few hours, sitting on the small grass verge in front of it, until the rain becomes too heavy and they trudge back to Hux’s mansion, their hands intertwined, their heartbeats keeping perfect time. Every so often, Hux glances over at Kylo to check whether he’s alright, only to be met by Kylo’s own stare, obviously checking the same.

“We’ll need supplies,” Hux says, running his hand through his wet hair as they stand on the porch of the house.

“Supplies?” Kylo echoes, frowning, pulling his hood down from his brow.

Hux makes an agreeable sound. “Until we find a sturdier place to stay. I don’t fancy living on your ridiculous shuttle for the rest of my days.”

“It’s not--. You want us to find somewhere to live?” Kylo asks, a childlike excitement to his tone.

“Maybe not on a permanent basis,” Hux replies with a shrug. “I shouldn’t think that we’d be able to settle down properly somewhere for a number of years, not with the Resistance and the Order still at one another’s necks. We may have to keep moving around for a while but I’m sure we’ll cope. We’ll need supplies before we leave.”

Kylo nods, leaning in to give Hux a quick kiss on the cheek before they go inside the house. They don’t bother taking their muddy shoes off; Hux wants to leave this dull, little planet behind as soon as possible. Whilst Kylo gathers things from the kitchen that he thinks may be of use to them, Hux goes back upstairs to the top floor, to the room at the very end of the corridor. He feels more nervous at the thought of entering his old bedroom this time as, before, he’d gone in with the intention of dragging Kylo out by his ear for snooping when Hux specifically told him not to. But Hux had forgotten all about the steel box underneath his bed, about the memories inside it, the memories that he wants back.

The box is where Kylo left it, open and messy, and Hux feels his heart quicken when he gets a good look inside. From the books to the blanket at the bottom, Hux remembers what it felt like to lock each of these things away, the pain of not wanting to be _Armitage Hux_ anymore now that he believed his soulmate to be dead, and the guilt of throwing everything that he once loved inside a box to never be touched again.

Hux runs his finger over the fabric cover of the red storybook, flipping it to the back page to see his mother’s name written in her own neat handwriting. Nola Hux had wanted the very best for her son, for him to shun his father’s imperialist values and make it his quest to find his soulmate. Instead, he’d become nothing but his father’s son; cold and calculated, caring about nothing other than getting the First Order to where it should rightfully be. The more Hux stares at his mother’s name, the more he wonders how different his life would’ve been if he’d been ‘ _Armitage Sunfell’_ instead of ‘ _Armitage Hux’._

‘ _Never too late for change,’_ he thinks, closing the book and pulling the lid of the box over until it clicks shut, tutting as he sees the two broken locks on the floor.

The box is a lot heavier than it looks, and Hux struggles to keep his balance as he walks down the flights of stairs. As he begins descending the last set, he feels the box being lifted from him by a pair of invisible hands, looking down to see Kylo standing at the bottom, his hand waving idly in the air.

“I could manage,” Hux says, trotting down the remaining stairs.

“Your strained expression told me otherwise,” Kylo replies as the box floats towards him, staying suspended in the air. “You’re taking this with you?”

“Mm. Thought it’d be a shame to leave in this rotting excuse of a home. They’re the only things I’ve ever really owned too. Well, besides the _Finalizer._ ” Hux smirks, watching Kylo raise his eyebrows.

“The _Finalizer_ was mine too. _Joint_ commanders,” Kylo taunts. “You just liked to think you were in charge.”

“In charge of what?”

“Me.”

Hux laughs as he steps in front of Kylo, brushing his hair from his face.

“That’s because I am,” Hux says, but the calm look in Kylo’s eyes tells him that he isn’t taking Hux seriously. Hux leans up, kissing Kylo on the cheek. “Come on. We’d best be going.”

Taking Kylo by the hand, Hux leads him out of the house, the box following in tow in the air. Hux turns to close the door, his hand lingering for a moment on the doorknob, reluctant to let go, but he feels Kylo tug on his hand, as though reassuring him that they’re doing the right thing, that Hux isn’t alone anymore. They trudge down the garden path, overgrown grass brushing across their boots as they walk. The rain is still relatively heavy but Hux doesn’t flinch. Even rainfall isn’t going to dampen his mood, his high spirits.

In the weeks and months that followed his soulmate ‘dying’ when he was younger, Hux had found that Arkanis felt less and less like home, like he suddenly didn’t belong _anywhere_ now that his world was completely grey and empty. But as Hux stands in front of his family’s grand house, grasping tightly onto Kylo’s hand, he realises that for people with soulmates, home isn’t a place, home is a person.

////////////////////

**_9 Days Later_ **

The only thing Hux has asked of Kylo is to find them a planet that isn’t too hot. He can deal with the bitter cold or gale-force winds, but not blistering humidity. He sits atop their newly-acquired shuttle, having promptly sold Kylo’s Command Shuttle for an overly high price. He admits that having a Force user who’s able to manipulate thoughts as his soulmate has more than one perk. Their _new_ shuttle resembles that of an old _Ministry_ -class orbital shuttle though with added modifications and lots of space for them to live in until they find somewhere more suitable.

He pulls his grey coat on tighter, feeling a chill in the air as he watches snow begin to lightly fall from the flurry of white clouds above him, sticking to his dark blue trousers. He likes this planet. It’s quant, quiet, and reminds him of Starkiller. Looking out across the frozen lake that Kylo landed the shuttle next to, Hux tries to picture him and Kylo living here for a while, perhaps even finding menial jobs to keep their finances secure. He doesn’t think of the Order, he doesn’t think of the Resistance…or at least, he attempts not to. Though he doubts he would ever admit something aloud to Kylo, Hux knows that this new _defected_ life will take some getting used to but he’s certainly willing to try.  

The singular sun of the system is setting, halfway down the skyline across the lake, the sky turning a shade of light orange that reminds Hux of the colour of his hair. He stretches his legs out, leaning back on his hands, inhaling the cool evening air. It’s a tranquil scene; it’s been a while since Hux has been able to appreciate a silence as calming as this.

“ _Shit!”_

There’s a sudden sound of something smashing and a subsequent shout from Kylo, accompanied by a hiss of pain. Hux rolls his eyes.

“What have you done now, Ren?” Hux calls out as though it’s not the first time he’s asked that today.

Kylo appears from the inside of the shuttle, clambering up to sit on its roof next to Hux, a yellow mug in his hand and a frown on his face.

“I split boiling water on my hand. Dropped my mug. Here,” he hands Hux the yellow mug, filled to the brim with tea. “It’s your mother’s. The one from the red box.”

“Thank you.”

Hux blows on the tea, watching the steam rise from the mug. Kylo shuffles closer to him, their hips touching, and he pulls his hooded, black coat tighter around himself, obviously feeling the chill. Hux had thought it odd the first time he’d seen Kylo in civilian clothes and not just tattered black robes, but Hux had thought it a wise idea to get rid of their uniform for their own safety; remain inconspicuous until things settled down on the political side of the Galaxy. But after they’d _acquired_ some new clothing, seeing Kylo’s long legs in soft, black leggings and a loose, white shirt for the first time had made Hux blush, his gaze lingering much too long on Kylo’s toned muscles.

“Well?” Kylo asks, looking at Hux with wide eyes. “Do you like this one?”

“The tea?”

“No. The planet.” Kylo looks out onto the frozen lake, its surface turning orange from the setting sun. “It’s not hot. Like you didn’t want.”

Hux laughs. “Mm. I like it. I can imagine us here. It’s quiet. Far enough away from anyone who may recognise us. It’s cosy.” He rubs his shoulder against Kylo’s upon pronunciation of the last word, hoping that the natural chill in the air will mean they’ll have sleep extra close in one of the bunks. “Do you like it?”

Kylo shrugs, crossing his legs underneath him, adjusting the hood of his coat to sit right on his broad shoulders.

“It’s _okay._ I don’t think it’s bright enough.”

Sipping at his tea, Hux looks at the orange sunset and then back at Kylo.

“Define _‘bright’_ ,” he says, resting the warm mug on his knee.

“Colourful.” Kylo gestures grandly to the sky with his hand. “Not everyone in the galaxy can see colour like we can. Why waste is living somewhere that’s white?” He points down to the snow, and Hux supposes he has a point. The orange sky in the evenings is about the only colourful thing that is seemingly on this planet; even the trees are covered with snow, the blue sky blocked by more white clouds.

Hux sighs. “You’re right. We’ll find somewhere else. But it sounds as though you’ve got a detailed image in your mind of what you’re looking for already, Ren. This is only temporary too, remember.”

Brushing his hair from his eyes, Kylo looks out to the sunset and then down to his gloved hands in his lap.

“I just don’t ever want to see in black and white again. This is too… _empty,_ ” he mutters and Hux feels an intense sadness radiate through their soulbond, spreading through his chest in mimicry of what Kylo is feeling.

Setting the mug down on the roof, Hux places his palm on Kylo’s furthest cheek and presses his lips against Kylo’s temple, seeing a spark of colour ignite in his mind.

“You won’t. We’ll find somewhere, Ren. Somewhere with red skies and green grass. The galaxy is big enough for us to keep searching for the rest of our lives,” Hux says, feeling Kylo’s sadness relax a little.

“The rest of our lives?” Kylo echoes, then huffs in a laugh. “Then I suppose I’d better give you this now.”

Hux pulls his hand away from Kylo’s cheek as he reaches into the pocket of his coat, pulling out something relatively small in his palm. Hux frowns, his skin chilling in anticipation. Pressed between two pieces of glass is one of the red flowers from Arkanis, small and fragile behind the glass, but preserved and protected, still with the same glorious hue that Hux admires.

“Ren…You picked one before we left?”

“Mm. I knew you’d miss them eventually and I didn’t think you’d want to pick one so I nabbed one. Kept it alive since we left Arkanis until I could find some damned glass. Who knew that it would be so hard to come by—.”

Hux’s lips are suddenly locked on Kylo’s, kissing him fervently, as splashes of red swish across his consciousness. Intricate mixes of ruby and crimson paint themselves in Hux’s mind as they kiss, weaving together in a warm manner.

“Red?” Kylo mutters, muffled by Hux’s lips.

Hux smiles into the kiss.

“Red.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [the rest of the world was black and white but we were in screaming colour](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=heSdfjgFf4Q)
> 
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> 
> THE END ❤️
> 
> Oh gosh, I'm so grateful if you've read this the entire way through. Honestly. Thank you so much. ❤️
> 
> I know there are probably a few non-canon stuff regarding Brendol Hux and Arkanis and Kylo turning to the Dark Side but I started writing this when we knew barely anything so that's how I decided to finish it! I really hope you liked it! ❤️
> 
> Thank you so much reading!  
> Feel free to message me on tumblr too, it's [@solohux](http://solohux.tumblr.com/)


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